25 Simple Ways to Make Your Marriage Last


25 years ago today, I walked down a very long aisle in front of a large crowd of friends and family to pledge my life and my love to Randy.

Would you like to have a marriage that lasts a lifetime? How do you accomplish this? Here are 25 Simple (not necessarily easy) Ways to Make Your Marriage Last from a couple that's now working on their 26th year!

During those years…

  • There have been ups and downs.
  • Highs and lows.
  • The gift of 2 amazing children.
  • Numerous pets.
  • Six major moves.
  • Many job changes.
  • Lots of life changes.
  • All of the regular stuff…

Looking back…

As we hurried out of the church those 25 years ago, we could have never imagined what life would hold for us.

Would you like to have a marriage that lasts a lifetime? How do you accomplish this? Here are 25 Simple (not necessarily easy) Ways to Make Your Marriage Last from a couple that's now working on their 26th year!

And yet, after all of these years, we still are together.

We still love each other.

And, we are praying for 25 more years together.

~ How have we made it?

~ What are our secrets to staying married?

As we talked these questions over recently, we came up with some uncomplicated ways that we have made our marriage work.

Our prayer that these little tidbits of wisdom will encourage and help others who want to keep their marriages strong through the ebbs and flows of life.

Here are “25 Simple (not necessarily easy) Ways to Make Your Marriage Last:”

1] Pray together

Make prayer a priority in your home, in your marriage, & in your relationship. Click To Tweet

  • Each night before bed, prays with each other.
  • Over meals, pray together.
  • When you are trying to make a big decision, pray together.
  • When life gets hard, pray as a couple.

2] Play together.

Find at least one thing you both enjoy and do this together.

  • Ride bikes.
  • Shop for antiques.
  • Take up ballroom dancing.
  • Enjoy long walks.
  • Try tennis or golf.

3] Laugh often.

My husband comes from a funny family. They are loud, friendly, and love to laugh. And, in our home and marriage, we laugh a lot. This is such a good thing. If you are not laughing in your marriage, find some TV shows, movies, books, or something that will help you to learn to laugh more together.  Would you like to have a marriage that lasts a lifetime? How do you accomplish this? Here are 25 Simple (not necessarily easy) Ways to Make Your Marriage Last from a couple that's now working on their 26th year!

4] Go on dates with each other.

Head out–away from everyone–and spend some time together. 

  • There are many great suggestions on Pinterest for inexpensive dating ideas.
  • Bookstores are filled with cheap date ideas.
  • Get creative, and get out there – away from the kids – often!!

5] Go away – just the two of you.

You need time alone with each other! For some of you, this is going to be a challenge, but it can be done. You can take the kids to a friend’s house for one night, and go back home alone! You can get the grandparents to help while you steal away for 24 hours. This is such a good thing for all couples to do – no matter what their age, stage of life, or standard of living. 

6] Put the children in their own rooms at night – to sleep in their own beds.

For the sake of your sanity and your relationship, put those babies in their own beds! Although the “Family Bed” is a popular concept in some places, I would highly recommend you put those little people in their own rooms. You need time alone for conversation, for intimacy, and for good sleep. Little feet kicking you in the night grows old very quickly.

7] Talk things over.

Some couples don’t talk. Or, they stop talking.

  • Keep on talking to each other.
  • Continue to communicate – even during challenging seasons.
  • No matter how hard things are, try to keep the channels open between you!

8] Brush stuff off. Don’t let the little things drive you crazy.

To keep your marriage sweet, keep short accounts with each other. Click To Tweet Let as much go as possible. In other words, don’t take up the offense all the time. I knew a woman who stayed upset with her man. Everything that poor guy did bothered, bugged, and nagged at her. She stayed upset, and so did he.

  • We either accept them as they are or we will stay so frustrated. 
  • Most things that will bother you – don’t really matter.
  • Let the little things go!

9] Forgive often and freely.

Along the same lines, much forgiveness is needed in marriage. We are constantly faced with a choice – to be mad or to forgive.

  • They will offend you.
  • They will hurt you.
  • They will let you down.
  • They will need forgiveness.

And, so will you!

10] Pray for each other.

Daily, your spouse needs your prayers. Click To Tweet

  • Pray for your partner – in all areas of their lives – spiritually, physically, emotionally, vocationally, mentally, and relationally.
  • Ask God to protect your spouse, to bless and encourage your spouse.

11] Spend time alone with the Lord every day.

By spending time with the Creator of the universe, we are changed. As we open the Bible and pray, we become better husbands and wives. 

  • We are easier to live with and relate to if we spend time alone with the Lord.
  • We will enjoy a better, richer marriage if we spend time alone with the Lord.

12] Try to see the other person’s point of view.

Try to look at things through the other person’s lenses. This can be a challenge sometimes, but it can give us such perspective. To try to walk in our spouse’s shoes — gives us empathy and compassion in relating to each other.

13] Show affection to each other.

Keep being affectionate – long after the first year!

  • Keep on showing physical affection with each other. 
  • Keep on hugging, kissing, holding hands, and flirting with each other.

Would you like to have a marriage that lasts a lifetime? How do you accomplish this? Here are 25 Simple (not necessarily easy) Ways to Make Your Marriage Last from a couple that's now working on their 26th year!

14] Be kind to each other.

Treat each other with kindness. Every morning, Randy fixes me the most wonderful cup of coffee and serves it to me in my chair. This is a kindness that I have enjoyed for 25 years. How are you being kind to your spouse?

15] Skip the sarcasm.

I don’t know anyone who really enjoys sarcasm and cutting remarks.  No one likes to be on the receiving end of caustic humor and mean words.  Just skip the sarcasm altogether in your marriage. Click To Tweet

16] Worship together.

Find a great church and enjoy going together!

17] Give each other much grace and room to fail.

Try to give each other room to make mistakes. I remember reading a James Dobson quote when we were engaged that said, “Keep both eyes wide open before marriage and half closed after you are married.” In other words, enter marriage carefully. And after you are married. be gentle with each other. Give each other grace and the freedom to fail.

18] Protect your marriage and each other.

Beware of anything or anyone that tries to come between you & your spouse! Click To Tweet Your relationships, hobbies, amusement, habits, and all things should grow your relationship with each other. Nothing should be more important than your marriage.  Do all that you can to prevent anything from harming your marriage.

Would you like to have a marriage that lasts a lifetime? How do you accomplish this? Here are 25 Simple (not necessarily easy) Ways to Make Your Marriage Last from a couple that's now working on their 26th year!

19] Do nice things for each other – just because you can.

Treat the other person with gifts, surprises, and nice things. Be good to them because you can. Give to them because you love them and want to enhance the relationship. For example, Randy loves to go to the shooting range and shoot guns. It’s not always my favorite thing to do, but I know how much he enjoys it. Sometimes, I’ll suggest we go shooting just because I know that he will love it!

20] Be on the lookout for successful married couples around you – learn from them.

Here’s a great post about this very thing; it’s called “Holding Hands.”

21] Don’t try to fix each other’s flaws.

Let your spouse be themselves. Give them the freedom to be who God created them to be, not who you’d like for them to be.  You will never morph into exactly the same person — although some people really do start to look like each other as they grow older! One of my good friends used to say, “Tell your spouse the good things that they do; tell God the bad things they do. Then, let God change them.”

22] Give the other person room to grow, transition, learn, and try new things.

We’ve been in the geekiest “learning mode” in our marriage. I just spent the last 3 years working on my masters. Randy would quiz me, coach me, and patiently wait while I wrote papers and studied. He gave me room to grow and learn. Now, he is pursuing his Ph.D. Many weekends, I have to give him time and room to study, work, and prepare for class.  When your spouse wants to try something new, try to give them the freedom to learn, &… Click To Tweet It might be hard on you at times, but it could also lead to some wonderful new things in your relationship.

23] Say positive things to each other.

Use your words to:

  • Encourage each other
  • Thank each other
  • Bless each other
  • Promote each other

24] Love the other person’s friends and family members.

This may be a challenge, but it’s a gift to your spouse. Love the people that they love – no matter how hard this is. If you pull them away from their friends and their family, you will only hurt your relationship.  Give them room to have friends and to enjoy time with their families. Go with them, and try to make the best of each situation.

25] Never give up on the other person or the marriage.

No matter how challenging things get, don't give up on your marriage or your spouse! Click To Tweet

  • Keep working at it.
  • Refuse to quit.
  • Take the word “divorce” out of your vocabulary. 
  • Determine to make this marriage work!

That’s it for our “25 Simple Ways to Make Your Marriage Last.”

They are not all easy things, but each of these suggestions is do-able!

Today, we celebrate 25 years together.

And, as we do, we pray that God will bless your marriages and your relationships. May He cement your hearts together and keep your love growing. May He bless you and your spouse.

So, what suggestions do you have for making your marriage last?

~ What have you and your spouse tried that has helped?

I always enjoy hearing from you.

If you and your spouse are struggling today, here are a couple of posts just for you:

~ 12 Steps to Saving Your Marriage

~ Are You in the Middle of a Difficult Dilemma?


Were you encouraged today?

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Maybe you can send it to a friend or family member?

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© Melanie Redd and Ministry of Hope, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner are strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Melanie Redd and Ministry of Hope with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.


About helloredds@gmail.com

Blessed wife of Randy for over 25 years, mom to two great college students, blogger, women's ministry coach, speaker and author who is amazed by God's grace-

34 thoughts on “25 Simple Ways to Make Your Marriage Last

  1. Congratulations to TWO very special people. Enjoyed the post and made notes to share with someone I know who is in need of encouragement. I found myself thinking of ways this helps whether it is 5, 15, or many more years. The very best to both of you.

    1. Thank you, Amelia!

      We are blessed to have friends like you and OC!

      And, we pray that you will have many more years together!

      Sure am thankful for encouraging folks like you~
      Blessings,
      Melanie

  2. I am so grateful for a Godly wife! Jesus makes all the difference in life…including marriage. Thanks for the pointing to the practical wisdom of scripture to help in the marriage relationship! You are an amazing wife…I am a blessed man.

  3. Congratulations! We just celebrated our 15 years last week! I love this list and see a number of things I need to and want to work on. Melanie – thank you for sharing your positive attitude and do-able tips!

  4. Wonderful, practical and wise tips. You certainly covered it all. Congrats for 25 years and here’s again to wishing you many, many more.

    1. Hey Michelle!

      Thanks for the well-wishes! We are going to try to do the next 25 years a little slower and a little calmer!

      Appreciate you and your encouragement.

      Hope you have a blessed day today~
      Melanie

  5. Lovely, I am blessed reading this, friend. Happy Anniversary and many more prosperous and glorious years ahead.
    God Bless

  6. Congratulations and Happy Anniversary!

    You’ve provide quite a list of excellent relational tips. I would like the post better if you had named it “25 Ways to Enrich Your Marriage.” Following your tips is likely to lead to a richer relationship with one’s spouse…as to whether it will make it last a lifetime, we cannot know.

    Your first 24 tips were excellent! Your 25th misses the mark, based on my experience. Refusing to say the word ‘divorce’ does not prevent divorce from happening, nor does refusing to make divorce ‘an option’ either prevent divorce or enrich the marriage.

    For more on this topic, you might enjoy this post: http://josephjpote.com/2012/01/courageous-divorce/

    Have a blessed day!

    1. Hey Joe,

      Thanks for stopping by to leave a comment today. I really appreciate you and your visit.

      And, I did take the time to go over and read your blog about divorce and the movie “Courageous.” I really appreciate your perspective and insights. Thank you for sharing them with me.

      I can hear and see where you are coming from, and it’s my heart to always learn from others.

      However, I think on point #25, we may just have to agree to disagree.

      I look forward to interacting again. You’ve caused me to really ponder things~

      Blessings to you,
      Melanie

  7. Happy Anniversary to Both of You! We are approaching our 29th in a few months (wow!); and I should still tape your list to the insides of my eyeballs! As you said, these are Simple, not necessarily Easy. Amen! One of the sweetest things God has used to bless my marriage are the Godly women friends (like you) He’s placed in my life, who desire to honor God by loving their husbands well & (trying) to teach me how to do the same. So, when we flawed, selfish creatures fall, we repent, get up, & start over again (& again & again…). Enjoy your celebration! ~ Jackie

    1. Thank you, Jackie!

      We appreciate the well wishes today!

      And, you keep going, girl! You are a great wife and mom. We all have much to learn and many ways we can do better.

      I pray that God will encourage you today~
      Melanie

  8. Melanie,
    I Recognized your wedding picture right Away. Twenty five years ago, I had been married for about three.years and was the momma of a any girl and pregnant with my first son when you came into my bridal shop: Memphis Bridal Gallery. I Was a baby in Christ, alone in the Faith at that time. Waiting and praying for my man to be saved was not an easy time but thanks be to God, after thirteen year the Lord brought my husband to life.

    It brings me great joy to hear how the Lord has blessed you marriage and I hope you know that now you are that older Godly couple who can help others.
    I’m a firm believer in “to whom much is given, much will be required. I wish I had a woman like you in my life to teach me all the godly wisdom the Lord has give you. I disciple women and your 25 tips are greatly needed. I would love to share these on our website: strandofpearls.org

    I’m taking notes and will share them with my husband tonight on our date night.?
    Please keep writing sister and may God richly bless you.
    Ginny Porter

    1. Hey Ginny,

      It’s great to hear from you! Wow, I had forgotten about meeting you at the shop. I think I may have bought my dress from you??

      And, isn’t that an amazing marriage testimony! To wait and have your husband come to life! That is a great word!

      It is my joy to be the “older” woman for some younger women in my life, and I’m blessed to have some older women who have greatly invested in my life as well.

      I am going to pray that God will give you someone ahead of you (an older woman) who will invest in your life. Where do you live? Are you still in the Mid South?

      I will check out your website. And you are welcome to share the 25 tips on your site. I just ask that you mention my name and link back to my post somewhere on your site!

      You have blessed me with your note today!

      I’m so glad to hear from you today. You have blessed me with your note~

      And, if I can encourage you, help you, pray for you, or be a friend to you – I’d love to! You can email me at helloredds@gmail.com, and I’m happy to send your my phone number and other info.

      Blessings to you,
      Melanie

  9. Happy anniversary!! What an exciting milestone for you two! Thank you for sharing these 25 simple ways to make marriage last. My husband and I are coming up on our first anniversary and these tips are wonderful things for us to keep in mind!

    1. Thank you, Lauren!

      Congratulations on your first anniversary! Each year brings new adventures and opportunities for growth. Praying that you will enjoy many, many more wonderful years together.

      Thanks for stopping by to leave a nice comment today.
      I really appreciate you and your visit!
      Melanie

  10. Once again, another awesome post Melanie!! As a happily married woman who wants to constantly be mindful of honoring my husband and thriving in our marriage, I greatly appreciated these tips from wisdom and experience. I will be featuring this on Friday for our next round of Grace & Truth! Thanks for sharing this with us and our community!

    1. Wow, Holly!

      You are blessing my socks off! Sure do appreciate you and your encouragement!

      Your life refreshes mine, and I am honored to be featured on Grace and Truth!

      Hope you have a blessed day today~
      Melanie

    1. 17 years is great! You go girl!

      Keep going strong! I pray that God will bless your marriage and make it better and better!

      Thanks for stopping by to leave a kind word today!
      Blessings,
      Melanie

  11. I have great joy in my heart as I’m writing this testimony about the great man called Dr.Stanley who helped me When my Husband left me for another woman, I thought i will not be able to get him back after all he has told me and put me through, but I am so happy that after i contacted Dr.Stanley for help, I was able to get my Husband back within 24 hours. And I can proudly say that who ever need help in getting his/her lover back should contact Dr.Stanley via drstanleyspelltemple@hotmail.com for quicker response of what I have just witness…..

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