We are in the middle of a series on dating, marriage, and finding the right person. It’s called “How Will I Know if He/She Really Loves Me?”
You can catch the whole series HERE
You can also take the quiz to see how compatible you are HERE.
As my twenty-something hair stylist was cutting my hair recently, I asked her this question about her finance…
How did you know that this guy was the one for you?
Without even much of a pause, she said,
“He was nice to me. I’ve dated some guys that were not very nice, but this one treats me with such kindness.”
Why do these things matter so much in our relationships – especially in dating, engagement, and in marriage?
Good Marriages are Made Even Better with This One Thing – Kindness!
Let me start by sharing an example from my own marriage. I can tell you I’m married to a very kind and gracious man.
One of the kind things he does for me (and has our entire marriage) is to make me a cup of coffee and bring it to me in bed or in my morning chair.
Recently, we got a Keurig.
Because he doesn’t really make the coffee anymore, he now gets my cup ready with creamer and puts it near the coffeemaker. Then, he writes me a sweet note on the napkin by my cup.
This is kindness is marriage!
It’s Not Earth-Shattering, But it is Significant
These are not earth-shattering actions, but they are meaningful. They are daily and significant.
These little actions make me feel special, valuable and loved.
That’s what kindness does in a relationship – it makes the other person feel special, valuable, and loved.
So, that’s today’s question when considering if you should marry someone:
Does your other person make you feel special, valuable, and loved?
Are they KIND to you?
Definitely, in marriage, you are going to need lots of kindness.
~ When the babies are crying, you will need kindness.
~ When one of your is sick, you will need kindness.
~ And, when you are tired and grumpy, kindness will help.
~ When you are struggling, you are going to need some kindness.
~ Additionally, when life is hard, you will benefit from kindness.
Kindness in marriage really matters.
“Gentleness and kindness will make our homes a paradise upon earth.”
C. A. Bartol
“Never lose sight of the fact that the most important yardstick of your success will be how you treat other people.”
The Bible talks about the significance of and the need for kindness.
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
“As holy people whom God has chosen and loved, be sympathetic, kind, humble, gentle, and patient.”
So, can I ask you some hard and rather personal questions?
So, is your guy/girl kind?
Do they treat you with affection?
Are they gracious to you?
Do they speak to you in a kind way?
Do they make you feel valued?
Or, are they cruel and hurtful?
Do they tear you down and make fun of you?
Do they tease you too much?
A Great Example
One of my sweet friends is married to a man who loves to tease and make jokes.
He can, at times, almost be a little too sarcastic with others.
However, she will be quick to tell you that he never teases her. He has always been incredibly kind to her. That’s how she knew he loved her.
Kindness matters, especially in your most significant relationships!
“Never tire of loyalty and kindness.
Hold these virtues tightly.
Write them deep within your heart.”
Great Additional Resources for You…
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