How will I know if he (or she) is the RIGHT ONE for me?

How will I know that he is the right one for me? #relationships #dating #love #romance #marriage #rightone
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How will I know if he really loves me

The words to an old, familiar song come to mind as we launch into the topic of dating, marriage, and finding the right person.

Maybe you remember this song made famous by Whitney Houston…

“How Will I Know if He Really Loves Me?”

How will I know that he is the right one for me? #relationships #dating #love #romance #marriage #rightone

So, how do you know if you have met the “right” person?

How’s a girl to know if she has found the man she’s to marry?

Or, how’s a guy to know that he has met his future wife?

These are age-old questions that young adults all ask when they start dating, connecting, and looking ahead to the future.

Having some young adults in my home and in my immediate sphere of influence, I thought it might be a fun topic to cover as we move into the spring and the wedding season.

I also have talked to many of you (who aren’t quite so young) who are also considering dating again or marrying again.

You may be asking these same questions

How will I know if he/she is right for me? 

Truly, how do I know that they are “the one” for me?

How will I know that he is the right one for me? #relationships #dating #love #romance #marriage #rightone

How will I know if he (or she) is the RIGHT ONE for me?

So often, people answer these questions with an answer that I understand but really don’t like – “You’ll just know.”

This is true.

You will KNOW – deep within your heart.

However, I think there is so much more to this answer.

For that reason, I want us to consider some ways that we can KNOW that a person is good for us or not so good for us.

Over the next 7 weeks, we will consider several additional ways that you can truly know that a person is good for you to date, get involved with, or marry.

I’ve talked to many happily married couples, read many wonderful books on this topic. Also, I’m enjoying my 27th year with my husband.

I’ll be sharing the wisdom of many folks that I respect, the wisdom of some great resources, and some of the things I’ve learned in my own marriage relationship.

Today, let’s consider the first way you can know that someone is right for you.

This one comes in the form of a question.

Do you have PEACE about this person and your relationship?

Real peace is freedom from disturbance; quiet and tranquility. To be at peace is to be calm, relaxed, and filled with great contentment in your relationship.

When you are with the right person, you should be able to completely be yourself.

You shouldn’t have to put on airs, pretend, or be something you are not.

If you have found the right person, there should be a calmness and a complete freedom both when you are with them and when you are not.

Let me explain with a couple of true stories:

Story One:

Kendall was in a serious dating relationship with Russell. They were headed towards the altar. She was beautiful; he was good looking. They had such chemistry. But, something was wrong.

As Kendall began to lose weight and withdraw, her friends inquired about what was up. Russell put so much pressure on her. He was incredibly sensitive to her actions and reactions, and she always felt like she was walking on eggshells.

They were both amazing people, but they did not bring out the best in each other.

Kendall was never able to relax with Russell. Eventually, their relationship ended and they both married other people. I can tell you that they are both happily married decades later.

Story Two:

Zach was such a likable guy, but he always tried to perform and please the girls that he would date. His parents noticed that he never really relaxed with any of the girls he brought home. They were nice girls, but they kept Zach on edge.

Then, one day he brought Mary home. Instantly, his parents noticed how calm and at ease he was with Mary.

She allowed him to completely be himself. They were a great match and are happily married today.

It’s not rocket science, but it’s a good test for couples – the peace test.

Here are a few closing questions for you to consider:

  • Am I really at peace in this relationship?

  • When I lay down at night, is there any doubt or anxiety about this person?

  • Can I truly be relaxed around them?

  • Am I able to be myself when I’m with them?

  • Am I comfortable introducing them to my best friends and family members?

  • Do I have a calm and quiet assurance that this is a good relationship for me to be in?

  • Does this person bring out the best in me?

  • Do I have any doubts or checks in my spirit about this person?

After you’ve seriously considered your answers to these questions, can I encourage you to pray about your relationship?

Talk it over with the Lord!

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.

Philippians 4:6, NLT

How will I know that he is the right one for me? #relationships #dating #love #romance #marriage #rightone

And, please join us next week as we consider additional ways we can know that a person is right for us to marry.

If you have insights to share, I’d love to hear from you!

How did you KNOW that your girl or guy was the right one for you??

Want more info?

Also, you might enjoy one of these relevant blog posts:

How to Know He’s the One

The Best Advice for Choosing a Good Husband

 Additionally, here are a few books I’d recommend for you to read:

Encouraged by what you read?

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Maybe you can send it to a friend or family member?

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© Melanie Redd and Ministry of Hope, 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner are strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Melanie Redd and Ministry of Hope with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

About 428 Articles
Blessed wife of Randy for over 25 years, mom to two great college students, blogger, women's ministry coach, speaker and author who is amazed by God's grace-


  1. Thank you so much
    You have been really encouraging and helpful for some like me who is waiting upon the Lord.

  2. I’m so glad you’re doing this series, Melanie. There are far too many singles who do not know how to gauge this. They let the infatuation, rather than the sense of “peace” and “acceptance” be what propels them forward. Sadly, when this is all they base their relationship on, it is doomed from the start! I look forward to reading more and will be pinning to my “single and wise” board.

    • Thank you, Beth!
      Your words are so encouraging today!
      I am praying that many young adults and single again friends will take part in this series!
      Sure do appreciate your shares.
      And, I’m blessed by you and your ministry!

  3. Love it! That’s exactly how it felt when my husband and I were dating — such PEACE! I’d never had that feeling before and was pretty sure that COULDN’T mean the relationship would last. On the contrary, I was pretty sure he would flake out and disappear before the relationship even got off the ground. But, God had other plans! I had never heard anyone else talk about that “peace test,” so I’m encouraged to know it wasn’t just in my head. Will be sharing this tip with my college girls every chance I get! ❤️

    • Peace is such a gift, isn’t it, Laura!
      Love hearing your story and hearing about the peace that you felt!
      Thanks for stopping by to leave a comment today. It’s so nice to “meet” you.
      And, I look forward to connecting again and reading your blog as well.
      Of course, I love shares too! Thank you!

  4. Very helpful points, Melanie! It is hard for me to read things that feel “too late” for me as I am already married. As I read these words my own marriage struggles are lit but when this happens I have to hand it over to God or I get easily frustrated. But as I am learning many couples are opposites and God uses us as “iron sharpens iron” and I saw this in my grandparents life too. You are such a good writer and encourager, keep up the good work. I hope it was okay to share my heart here, and thank you for connecting over at my place as well.

    • Thanks, Meghan!

      It’s never too late! I’m so sorry to hear how hard it is, but I want to encourage you not to give up!

      I heard something so good recently about how to pray for your family. Get you a verse and literally pray the words of that verse for your husband.
      For example, if he is not being courageous, pray Joshua 1:9 for him. Put his name into the verse, and ask God to make him strong and courageous.
      I do this with all of my family members, friends, and even a few folks who “bug” me.

      It helps! And, God is the only One who can change them anyway!

      Hang in there! Keep going.

      And, yes, you are always welcome to share your heart here!I’m so glad you felt that you could! Makes me smile today!


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