How to Love Your Spouse in the Day to Day

This is it…    My sweet friend Alison is sharing one final guest post today!

It’s been a joy to have her visiting for the last few Sunday mornings! And, can I let you in on a little secret? This wise, young woman is very special. God has gifted her with a maturity and a discernment most women twice her age don’t possess. 

Wives, it’s time to embrace the calling to love big, serve well, and be imitators of Christ.

Yes, there are times when loving is difficult. Yes, we must choose service over selfishness in the heat of the moment. Yes, we aren’t always recognized for the time and effort we give to our husbands.

And yet, we love anyway.

This is gospel love – purposeful love. It shows Christ to the world.

We're called to love our spouses well. We're called to showcase Jesus & the gospel to the world. In order to do that, we must choose love in the day-to-day moments - the ones that seem insignificant. Here are 5 ways to choose love today!

So, let’s choose love today. Here are 5 ways to you can show love to your spouse that is unlike the world.

#1 – Appreciate your man.

Say “thank you” for everything – even the little things that might normally go unnoticed. Say thank you when you don’t feel like it. Say thank you when your husband does something big – and when he does something small.

Appreciation breeds love. Simple as that.

“Thank you for taking out the trash” shows that you notice, that you care, that you appreciate, and that you love.

“Thank you for being quiet this morning when I was still sleeping,of” tells your man that you were thinking about him and considering him even in your sleepiness.

“Thank you for listening to me ramble” (oh boy, that’s a common one out of my mouth) encourages my husband to listen in the future, because he knows I am not just rambling because I need to ramble. Rather, I choose to ramble to him because he listens and cares.

Appreciation breeds love.

#2 – Choose to Give Up What You Cannot Control

This is a worinprogress in my heart, but when I choose to embrace imperfection and my need for control, I feel much more loving. I respond in a much more loving way. I see the situation from my husband’s point of view – not perfection.

When was the last time you released your firm grasp on the desire to control?

Our husbands are humans and they make choices we cannot control. Our schedules are imperfect and will frequently be interrupted. We cannot control everything, so we must choose to give up the need to control.

#3 – Go on Dates in Your Own Home

Make something a habit. It doesn’t have to be expensive. You don’t even have to leave your home!

If you drink coffee every Saturday morning, turn it into a routine and make it date time. If you always have grilled cheese for dinner on Wednesday, make is a habit and intentionally set aside those grilled cheese sandwiches for meaningful connection time.

My theory is this: setting aside intentional time to talk, be together, and connect over something that is a routine brings a feeling of love.

I know that I can look forward to Saturday morning coffee dates, and this brightens my attitude throughout the week if I don’t get as a much quality time as I’d like. It makes a difference. Try it and see.

Intentional time breeds love.

We're called to love our spouses well. We're called to showcase Jesus & the gospel to the world. In order to do that, we must choose love in the day-to-day moments - the ones that seem insignificant. Here are 5 ways to choose love today!

#4 – Touch Your Man Often

Obviously intimacy is important, but I’m talking about something other than sex here. I’m talking about the little brush on the shoulder when you walk by your spouse. I’m talking about a kiss on the cheek when it’s unexpected. This shows that you notice, that you care, that you love.

Stop. Pause. Purposefully take time to notice your spouse and touch them accordingly. Little pats and touches make a huge difference.

Touch breeds love.

#5 – Tell Your Husband What You Need

Goodness, this has been huge for me. This is also something I need to work on in my heart daily, but when I grasp this truth it changes everything.

The bottom line is this: tell your spouse what you need. He is not a mind reader. He does not know your every thought, every desire, every expectation. You must tell him.

“Hey, I need a hug right now. No words. Just a hug.” HUGE. Life-changing. Can you imagine saying that to your spouse? Because they will be so thankful you asked rather than becoming bitter when you don’t get what you want.

“Can you please make the bed?” If that’s what you need, share that need. Your spouse will be happy to help, and if not, that’s something he needs to work on in his own heart.

Then, after they’ve loved you well, connect it back to #1. Appreciation.

Sharing what you need breeds love.

It’s all about love, is it not? When you show appreciation, offer little kisses of encouragement, and tell your spouse what you need, you’re acting in a way so unlike the world.

Let’s be married couples totally unlike this world – loving well and being about one another first.

What tips would you add to this list? How do you intentionally love your spouse daily, even in small ways?

Alison is a wife, blogger, and Jesus-follower growing in grace and truth daily. She loves coffee in the morning, experimenting in the kitchen, camping with her husband, and reading in a hammock just about anywhere. Her blog – Life of Scoop – exists to encourage bold authenticity grounded in God’s grace. Basically, it’s some good soul talk in the midst of the mundane.”


**And, would you do me a favor — if this article has encouraged you today — would you share it with someone else? 

Maybe you can send it to a friend or family member?

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© Melanie Redd and Ministry of Hope, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner are strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Melanie Redd and Ministry of Hope with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.


Blessed wife of Randy for over 25 years, mom to two great college students, blogger, women's ministry coach, speaker and author who is amazed by God's grace-

10 thoughts on “How to Love Your Spouse in the Day to Day

  1. What a wise and practical word, Alison!
    You’ve shared some great actions that we can take as wives to encourage our men!
    Sure am blessed by you and by your ministry.
    Thank you for sharing with us today~

  2. This is such great advice! I love to send my husband text messages when we’re apart. That’s one way I let him know I appreciate him. Thank you for sharing this, Alison and Melanie.

  3. Such a great list! Little surprises go a long way too. If I’m out I might pick him up a movie he’s been talking about seeing or bake him his favorite treat. Little things that let him know I’m thinking of him when he’s away.

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