I’m a sucker for remembering family experiences, both the good and not so good.
But the time I’ve spent with my daughter over the years has provided some of the most precious memories. They’re what shaped me individually and as a mother.
One such lesson occurred when my daughter was 10 years old as we visited before dinner one evening.
While we were setting the table she said, “You’re not like the other mothers.”
I wish I could’ve seen the expression on my face. I’m not sure any mom would have been prepared for the shock value of that statement. After I mumbled for a few seconds I asked her what she meant.
How to Raise Strong & Confident Daughters (and Sons)
She proceeded to tell me I was not the least bit sympathetic.
And that when she was dealing with a challenging or hurtful situation I automatically told her to dust herself off. I’d tell her to pull herself up by her bootstraps and move on, with no regard for her emotional state.
She also said I didn’t give her much time to be sad, cry, or feel sorry for herself. I just always expected her to regroup and be strong and courageous.
What a Perspective!
Her perspective may have been a bit skewed because of her age. But I also remember giving lots of hugs, tons of kisses, an abundance of encouraging words, and total, unconditional love, and support.
Truly, she was right in one sense. I did want her to be strong in confidence, skillfully navigate the curve balls life would throw her. In addition, I wanted her to have the ability to get back up when circumstances pushed her down.I did want her to be strong in confidence, skillfully navigate the curve balls life would throw her and have the ability to get back up when circumstances pushed her down. Click To Tweet
My, How Things Change!
When she was in her early 20’s we broached the subject again. Looking through a lens enlarged by 10 more years of life experience, her perspective had changed.
This time, she told me how much she appreciated me. Because of my encouragement and positive modeling, I had taught her to be strong in spirit, handle adversity, and bounce back during the tough times.
My goal all along was to lovingly prepare her to face adulthood with confidence, a good head on her shoulders, and a toolbox filled with as many resources as possible. I know this kind of encouragement and the tough emotional stand doesn’t work with all kids, but it worked with her.
Through our conversations over the years, I tried to provide examples of how to work through a problem or issue she was facing. I supported those examples with God’s Word, prayer, and life application when possible.My goal all along was to lovingly prepare her to face adulthood with confidence, a good head on her shoulders, and a toolbox filled with as many resources as possible. Click To Tweet
Preparation for the Future
I knew she wouldn’t know all the answers to future challenges, but I did my best to equip her to work through a variety of situations. As a result, she learned early on how to deal with people, solve problems, and figure out how to navigate life’s hiccups.
What I did for her is no different than what God does for us. Our Heavenly Father is tough on us when He needs to be. And His Word tells us to always do right, be kind, compassionate, and love others just as He loves us.
One of the things I love is that a mother’s work is never done. My ‘mom’ life has always been multi-faceted, requiring all the care I could muster to meet the needs and responsibilities of my daughter and family.
And yet some of my most treasured ‘mom’ roles include encourager, motivator, cheerleader, teacher, and prayer warrior. My husband and I wanted our girl child to grow up to be bold, confident, courageous, kind, compassionate, and most especially a godly young woman.My husband and I wanted our girl child to grow up to be bold, confident, courageous, kind, compassionate, and most especially a godly young woman. Click To Tweet
Sounds like a pretty tall order.
Was I the perfect parent? Absolutely not.
But I prayed a lot, leaned on God’s Word, and partnered with her dad to provide a stable and loving environment that nurtured and encouraged her. And through all of it, God covered us with His abundant grace, even when our parenting skills ran amuck.
God’s Word tells us in Proverbs 31:26, “She opens her mouth with wisdom and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.”
Today my girl child is a wife and mom, and I pray the lessons learned during her growing up years prepared her to model a life of ‘faith in action.’
It’s encouraging to see her make a positive and loving difference in the lives of her husband and young daughter. And sometimes when I hear her motherly instructions, I think back to how I shared some of those very same things with her.
I am thankful for God’s faithfulness during this journey of raising a child.
And I am even more grateful for the privilege to be her mother. He provided me reassurance every step of the way and His Word speaks powerful and absolute truths.
“Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord’s word to her will be fulfilled.” Luke 1:45
As we encourage moms to equip their children to walk in His truths, here is how to raise strong and confident daughters (and sons):
First… Make God’s Word the standard in your home.
Second… Train your children in the way they should go. Parents bring up your children with love, provide discipline, and nurture their souls.
Third… Help your children to grow in godliness and develop godly character.
Fourth… Teach your children about truth and responsibility. Help them to recognize deceit so it doesn’t take root in their heart.
Fifth… Take time regularly to bless your children through prayer.
About the Author:
Mitzi Neely is an inspiring motivational speaker and author who encourages women of all ages through her experiences and shortcomings. She has been blessed with a passion and love for people that stretches across the generations. It is her faith that has motivated her to pursue excellence in all her endeavors.
Mitzi’s heart is to lighten your load while conveying the message that nobody’s perfect. Mitzi is a wife, mother, and grandmother. She loves sweet tea and hails from the Lone Star State. Aside from her position as a central office administrator in an East Texas school district, she enjoys spending time with her family, writing, speaking, cooking, and sewing.
Follow Mitzi atwww.peacefullyimperfect.net where she ‘Brings Joy to Every Day Life.’ You can also connect with me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/
Need more parenting stuff?
Encouraged by what you read?
Would you share this article with a friend, co-worker, or family member?
Or, maybe you can send it to a friend or family member?
This blog occasionally uses affiliate links and may contain affiliate links. Additionally, Melanie Redd is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com. Also, for more on my disclosure policy, click HERE.
© Melanie Redd and Ministry of Hope, 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner are strictly prohibited. Further, excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Melanie Redd and Ministry of Hope with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.