How to Take Conversations Deeper With Friends & Family

Standing in the kitchen, I was surrounded by the most precious group of ladies on a weekend retreat.

We’d had our breakfast, started to clean up, and we were lingering around a second cup of coffee.

Unexpectedly, one of the ladies asked a most fascinating question.

Would you like to have better and more meaningful conversations with other people. This article shares thoughtful and practical tips for how to get past the small talk and move toward deeper communication with your family and friends. There's also a free printable included in this post!

She asked, “How do you take conversations with friends and family to a deeper level?”

She was looking at me when she posed the question. And, being one of the senior moms in the group, I asked her to expound on her question.

Thoughtfully, she said something like:

“It seems awkward to talk about more meaningful things with other people. We can talk about the trivial, but I’d love to steer conversations into topics about the Bible, about spiritual growth, and about more significant issues.” 

“How do I move the conversation toward more weighty matters without making it weird with my friends and family members?”

What a great question!

~ How can we intentionally work to have better and deeper conversations with people we already know?

~ How can we move toward meaningful dialogue and away from the trivial?

On that morning, I shared some ideas with my friend, and we had a fabulous conversation. The other ladies joined in and shared their ideas as well.

(This blog post originates from that conversation.)

Here are 5 Ways You Can Have Better and Deeper Conversations With Friends and Family:

  1. Ask Good Questions!

To genuinely connect with friends and family members, we have to take a sincere interest in their lives. If you will ask good questions, people will talk!

For example, you might ask:

  • I’ve been trying to spend more time praying for other people. Is there some way that I might pray for you?
  • Do you have anything challenging that you are dealing with right now? 
  • What have you been reading lately? Or, what are the best books you’ve read this year?
  •  I really like the way that you did… Tell me a little bit about how you came to that solution? How did you think of that?
  • What are you excited about right now?
If you want to have better conversations with friends & family, ask good questions. Click To Tweet
  1. Look them in the eye and really listen to what they are saying!

Don’t be thinking about how you will answer. Don’t be in a hurry to share. Don’t lecture. Don’t rush.

Proverbs 18:13 reminds us of this truth, “The one who gives an answer before he listens— that is his folly and his shame.”

It’s my joy to partner in ministry with my friend Alison at Life of Scoop today.

You can read the rest of this post over on her site by clicking HERE.

**And, would you do me a favor — if this article has encouraged you today — would you share it with someone else? 

Maybe you can send it to a friend or family member?

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© Melanie Redd and Ministry of Hope, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner are strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Melanie Redd and Ministry of Hope with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.


Blessed wife of Randy for over 25 years, mom to two great college students, blogger, women's ministry coach, speaker and author who is amazed by God's grace-

10 thoughts on “How to Take Conversations Deeper With Friends & Family

  1. These are good tips.
    Right now I’m praying for IRL friends who I can have these conversations with. I have no one – no one – local. We’re new at our church (after being cast aside by our old church) and I have no one to have any in-depth conversations with. My soul longs for this…

    1. I will pray with you for this, Becky!
      It’s very hard to walk alone. We’ve been there many times.
      And, for what it’s worth… I’m going to write a series all about friendships in August. I’ll tag you when it starts!
      Asking God to encourage you today with hope!

  2. Thank you Melanie for this tips. I’m introverted and don’t always say much. Usually when I feel I don’t have much to contribute to the conversation (since I would rather end any conversation than share a personal story), I always rush to end it with a scripture quote to avoid the awkward silence. Maybe I’ll just have to be a little open if its going to make the converstion last a little longer and less awkward.

    1. Thank you, Grace. I know it’s hard for introverts to speak up, but you usually have the deepest and most profound things to add to a conversation. My introverted friends have so much to offer to the conversation!
      Please speak up! You have wise and wonderful things to say!!
      And, for what it’s worth… everyone feels awkward at times. Some of us just “fake” our confidence a little better than others!!

  3. This is a great post! I especially need to slow down and listen. I am so thankful to be involved in a weekly women’s Bible Study (although we’re currently on summer break) where these type of conversations just flow. It is hard, though, to engage in these conversations in the “real world.” Thanks for the suggestions.

    1. Thank you, Emily!
      We all need to work on our listening skills, don’t we!
      There are a few friends that we can really “connect” with, but you are so right… in the real world, it helps to have a little assistance!
      Hope you have a wonderful weekend~

  4. I clicked through and finished on Alison’s site, but I wanted to let you know that I love this post! You break it down so simply, and it’s easy to see that you have such a heart for people, and you inspire me to have the same! ?

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