How to TRULY Forgive That Person Who Devastated You

I’m a really private person.

If you were to talk to my closest friends, they’d tell you this is true.

I typically keep my personal info PERSONAL!

But, my friend Shannon prompted me to share more freely today.

All of us have relationships, friendships, and situations in which we get wounded. Even fierce women get hurt. How do we handle the pain? Here are some very wise and practical steps you can take to forgive those who have hurt you and move on with your life!

It happened many years ago, but I remember it like it was yesterday.

I remember embracing my precious friends one final time.

I remember pulling out of the long driveway of that brand-new, specially crafted, beautiful house for the last time.

I remember the forever drive to our new location.

I remember feeling so sad, so heartbroken, and so disappointed as we traveled.

I remember numbly unloading our belongings in the freezing cold weather.

And, I remember why we had to go through all of this.

All of this pain, change and hurt sprung from the actions of one man and his wife. 

Without going into great detail, I can tell you that we were crushed by the situation and strongly compelled to leave.

We knew that our only option was to move to another position and another city.

It was the hardest thing we have ever had to do.

And, in the aftermath, I faced a really tough question:

Would I forgive this man and his wife?

Actually, I believe that ALL OF US will face injustice, betrayal, deceit, and rejection by friends, family members, co-workers, neighbors, employers, and even by Christian leaders and pastors.

No one is immune to being wounded!

Not even a fierce woman!

How does a fierce woman forgive when she is wounded by someone else?

First, a fierce woman forgives by looking to Jesus and trusting that He knows best.

Trusting God was not my first thought, and it will likely not be yours either. But, God gave us a verse during this season, and I’ll share it with you.

‘But Joseph replied, “Don’t be afraid of me. Am I God, that I can punish you? You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.”‘ (Genesis 50:19-20)

Joseph trusted God’s hand and His plans even when his own brothers sold him into slavery. It ultimately led to great joy and the salvation of many.

Similarly, in our lives, God’s plans will often lead through dark valleys of pain and rejection. When we are in these deep, dark valleys we must determine to trust God – no matter what. Why? Because He is able to use these moments in our lives for our good and for His glory.

Fierce women forgive by trusting God no matter how hard it is to trust Him! Click To Tweet

Second, a fierce woman forgives by praying for that one who has hurt her.

Oh, this one is so hard!

Your initial prayers may start out, “Get him, Lord! Get her, Lord!”

In time, however, you can learn to pray for God to bless that person who hurt you. You can begin to pray for God to heal them, restore them, encourage them, and help them.

Jesus told us to do this in Matthew 5:44, “I’m telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer.”

And, somehow, praying for someone who has hurt you frees up your heart to forgive. It enables you to let that person go.  Praying for your enemies will remove that root of bitterness that wants to make itself at home in your heart.

Fierce women forgive by praying for those who wounded them! Click To Tweet

I’m partnering with my friend Shannon Geurin today at Fiercely His.

You can read the rest of this post by linking HERE.

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Maybe you can send it to a friend or family member?

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© Melanie Redd and Ministry of Hope, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner are strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Melanie Redd and Ministry of Hope with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.


Blessed wife of Randy for over 25 years, mom to two great college students, blogger, women's ministry coach, speaker and author who is amazed by God's grace-

8 thoughts on “How to TRULY Forgive That Person Who Devastated You

  1. I get this! I’ve been there. Some things I did right, others not so much. It is especially difficult when it is family inflicting the deep, penetrating wounds. Thank you for the encouragement to steward well our hurts.

  2. I loved this Melanie! Especially how we should keep our mouth shut! Thank you for sharing such wonderful application on how to forgive

  3. Thank you, Lauren! God does use bad for good, doesn’t He! I don’t know how He does it sometimes, but He always manages to work things for our good and for His glory.
    Forgiveness is so important!
    Appreciate you stopping by to leave a kind word today~

  4. I can’t tell you how many times God has used what others meant for harm to reveal more about His forgiving heart. Great post and thanks for sharing!! Forgiveness is so important. <3

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