25 Ways to Make Your Marriage Better

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(Over 30 years ago, I walked down a very long aisle in front of a large crowd of friends and family to pledge my life and my love for Randy.)


25 Ways to Make Your Marriage Better

As we hurried out of the church, we could have never imagined what life would hold for us.

And yet, after all of these years, we still are together.

We still love each other and are praying for many more years together.

Recently, we came up with some uncomplicated ways that we have made our marriage work.

Here are 25 Ways to Make Your Marriage Sweeter:

1] Pray together

Make prayer a priority in your home, in your marriage, & in your relationship.

  • Each night before bed, pray for each other.

  • When you are trying to make a big decision, pray together.

  • When life gets hard, pray as a couple.

2] Play together.

Find at least one thing you both enjoy and do this together.

  • Ride bikes.

  • Shop for antiques.

  • Enjoy long walks.

  • Try tennis or golf.

3] Laugh often.

My husband comes from a funny family. 

They are loud, friendly, and love to laugh.

And, in our home and marriage, we laugh a lot.

This is such a good thing. If you are not laughing in your marriage, find some TV shows, movies, books, or something that will help you to learn to laugh more together. 

4] Go on dates with each other.

Head out–away from everyone–and spend some time together. 

  • There are many great suggestions on Pinterest for inexpensive dating ideas.

  • Bookstores are filled with cheap date ideas.

  • Get creative, and get out there – away from the kids – often!!

5] Go away – just the two of you.

You need time alone with each other!

For some of you, this is going to be a challenge, but it can be done.

You can take the kids to a friend’s house for one night, and go back home alone!

You can get the grandparents to help while you steal away for 24 hours. This is such a good thing for all couples to do – no matter what their age, stage of life, or standard of living. 

6] Put the children in their rooms at night – to sleep in their beds.

For the sake of your sanity and your relationship, put those babies in their beds!

Although the “Family Bed” is a popular concept in some places, I would highly recommend you put those little people in their rooms.

You need time alone for conversation, for intimacy, and for good sleep. Little feet kicking you in the night grow old very quickly.

7] Talk things over.

Some couples don’t talk. Or, they stop talking.

  • Keep on talking to each other.

  • Continue to communicate – even during challenging seasons.

  • No matter how hard things are, try to keep the channels open between you!

8] Brush stuff off. Don’t let the little things drive you a little nuts.

To keep your marriage sweet, keep short accounts with each other. Click To Tweet

Let as much go as possible. In other words, don’t take up the offense all the time. I knew a woman who stayed upset with her man. Everything that poor guy did bothered, bugged, and nagged at her. She stayed upset, and so did he.

  • We either accept them as they are or we will stay so frustrated. 

  • Most things that will bother you – don’t really matter.

  • Let the little things go!

9] Forgive often and freely.

Along the same lines, much forgiveness is needed in marriage.

We are constantly faced with a choice – to be mad or to forgive.

  • They will offend you.

  • Or, they will hurt you.

  • They will let you down.

  • They will need forgiveness.

And, so will you!

10] Pray for each other.

Daily, your spouse needs your prayers. Click To Tweet

  • Pray for your partner – in all areas of their lives – spiritually, physically, emotionally, vocationally, mentally, and relationally.

  • Ask God to protect your spouse, to bless and encourage your spouse.

11] Spend time alone with the Lord every day.

By spending time with the Creator of the universe, we are changed.

As we open the Bible and pray, we become better husbands and wives. 

  • We are easier to live with and relate to if we spend time alone with the Lord.

  • We will enjoy a better, richer marriage if we spend time alone with the Lord.

12] Try to see the other person’s point of view.

Try to look at things through the other person’s lenses.

This can be a challenge sometimes, but it can give us such a perspective.

To try to walk in our spouse’s shoes — gives us empathy and compassion in relating to each other.

13] Show affection to each other.

Keep being affectionate – long after the first year!

  • And, keep on showing physical affection to each other. 

  • Keep on hugging, kissing, holding hands, and flirting with each other.

14] Be kind to each other.

Treat each other with kindness.

Every morning, Randy fixes me the most wonderful cup of coffee and serves it to me in my chair. This is a kindness that I have enjoyed for 25 years.

How are you being kind to your spouse?

15] Skip the sarcasm.

I don’t know anyone who enjoys sarcasm and cutting remarks.  No one likes to be on the receiving end of caustic humor and mean words. 

Just skip the sarcasm altogether in your marriage. Click To Tweet

16] Worship together.

Find a great church and enjoy going together!

17] Give each other much grace and room to fail.

Try to give each other room to make mistakes.

I remember reading a James Dobson quote when we were engaged that said, “Keep both eyes wide open before marriage and half closed after you are married.”

In other words, enter marriage carefully.

And after you are married. be gentle with each other. Give each other grace and the freedom to fail.

18] Protect your marriage and each other.

Beware of anything or anyone that tries to come between you & your spouse! Click To Tweet

Your relationships, hobbies, amusement, habits, and all things should grow your relationship with each other. Nothing should be more important than your marriage. 

Do all that you can to prevent anything from harming your marriage.

19] Do nice things for each other – just because you can.

Treat the other person with gifts, surprises, and nice things.

Be good to them because you can. Give to them because you love them and want to enhance the relationship.

For example, Randy loves to go to the shooting range and shoot guns. It’s not always my favorite thing to do, but I know how much he enjoys it. Sometimes, I’ll suggest we go shooting just because I know that he will love it!

20] Be on the lookout for successfully married couples around you – learn from them.

Here’s a great post about this very thing; it’s called “Holding Hands.”

21] Don’t try to fix each other’s flaws.

Let your spouse be.

Give them the freedom to be who God created them to be, not who you’d like them to be.  You will never morph into exactly the same person — although some people do start to look like each other as they grow older!

One of my good friends used to say, “Tell your spouse the good things that they do; tell God the bad things they do. Then, let God change them.”

22] Give the other person room to grow, transition, learn, and try new things.

We’ve been in the geekiest “learning mode” in our marriage.

I just spent the last 3 years working on my master’s. Randy would quiz me, coach me, and patiently wait while I wrote papers and studied. He gave me room to grow and learn.

Now, he is pursuing his Ph.D. Many weekends, I have to give him time and room to study, work, and prepare for class.

When your spouse wants to try something new, try to give them the freedom to learn, & transition. Click To Tweet

It might be hard on you at times, but it could also lead to some wonderful new things in your relationship.

23] Say positive things to each other.

Use your words to:

  • Encourage each other

  • Thank each other

  • Bless each other

  • Promote each other

24] Love the other person’s friends and family members.

This may be a challenge, but it’s a gift to your spouse.

Love the people that they love – no matter how hard this is.

If you pull them away from their friends and their family, you will only hurt your relationship.  Give them room to have friends and to enjoy time with their families. Go with them, and try to make the best of each situation.

25] Never give up on the other person or the marriage.

No matter how challenging things get, don't give up on your marriage or your spouse! Click To Tweet

  • Keep working at it.

  • Refuse to quit.

  • Take the word “divorce” out of your vocabulary. 

  • Determine to make this marriage work!

That’s it for our “25 Simple Ways to Make Your Marriage Last.”

They are not all easy things, but each of these suggestions is doable!

So, what suggestions do you have for making your marriage last?

What have you and your spouse tried that has helped?

I always enjoy hearing from you.

Were you encouraged by what you read?

Then, would you share this article with a friend, co-worker, or family member?

Or, maybe you can send it to a friend or family member?

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© Melanie Redd and Hope Ministry, 2023. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.

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About helloredds@gmail.com 429 Articles
Blessed wife of Randy for over 25 years, mom to two great college students, blogger, women's ministry coach, speaker and author who is amazed by God's grace-


  1. Melanie, thanks for sharing such sweet encouraging tips. So great and that’s like my dream.
    Been struggling with my boyfriend/babydaddy because he’s too negative and he enjoys more of words than actions. Eg date nights,all I ever hear is okay noted;we’ll see bla…bla and i end up looking for friends to hang out with. It kills me among other things. …so need you to pray for me so hard especially before we can get married.

    • Hey Pamela,
      I’m praying for you and your boyfriend – for God to work in your hearts and prepare you for marriage.
      Each time God brings you to mind, I will lift you up.
      Can I especially encourage you to fall in love with Jesus and focus your attention on Him? He’s the only One who can make your relationships really amazing!
      Keep me posted on how you are doing.
      Thanks for stopping by,

  2. what do i do, been married 32 years husband wants a divorce , no clarity. ikeep prayinf time is running out, i dont no weather i should except the enevitable as Gods will or keep trying to change me so he will want to change, i still love him deep down but there has been a lot of hurt, lies and manipulation. heartbroken

    • Hey Robyn,
      I’m so sorry to hear about your marriage situation.
      Sometimes, all we can do is pray. So, I will pray for you and for your husband.
      I’m asking God to heal, to restore, to help, and to give you much grace right now.
      My greatest encouragement is for you to pray and to press in close to Jesus right now. Pour out your heart to Him. He loves you dearly!
      May He surround you with His love today~

    • I am in the same situation. 34 years I love him and am willing to try to change and change things Lots of lies hurt and deception from years of not communicating and respecting
      I’m just curious although similar we are different people how did your situation turn out

      • Hey Julie,
        I’m so sorry to hear that your marriage is a struggle. So many people seem to be having a hard time.
        I’m praying that God will restore, heal, and renew your relationship.
        Thank you for taking the time to comment.

  3. Even us old timers can benefit from a few of these. We often take for granted that nothing can ruin our marriage because we’ve been together for so long. But the enemy has a way of sneaking in there and causing disruption. Great reminders to make marriage our #2 priority. God being first. I love the new look of your blog Melanie.

    • You aren’t that old of a timer, Michelle!
      And, I agree… we can sort of get in a rut with our marriages.
      Praying that God will bless you, your family, and your marriage.
      Thanks for the blog encouragement!
      I’ve been working on the new “look” for the last couple of weeks!

    • Amen, Jamie!
      I love to laugh and have fun with my man!
      And, you do have to be intentional don’t you!
      I pray that God will bless you, your family, and your marriage.
      Thanks for stopping by~

  4. These are wonderful tips! Thank you for posting it! I love taking short weekend trips with my husband to get away from all the busyness at home. It is such a treat! And we have been trying to pray together more often and I have loved seeing my husband taking the initiative to pray for us

    • Thank you, Elena,
      I appreciate you stopping by to leave such thoughtful remarks!
      And, I love taking little trips with my man too. It is a treat!
      Praying together is a wonderful habit to start as well. I highly recommend it! And, I love it when they initiate it too!
      Hope you have a wonderful weekend~

  5. I definitely recommend time away together; even if it’s just a quick overnight trip when the kids are young it’s so refreshing!! We try to get away at least one night a year; even if we only go an hour away.

  6. Hi Mel!
    I tried to leave a comment on the Missional Motherhood page, but an error kept coming up? But I’ll put it here, too!

    25 awesome suggestions. I know that over the course of our 16-year marriage, we have grown in so many of these areas. We still have room to grow, though! I just read these off to him right now 🙂


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