How to Get Through Your Divorce with Hope
How to Get Through Your Divorce with Hope
When we think of divorce, we automatically conjure images of contentious court appearances, angry spouses, and traumatized children.
In fact, according to Unified Lawyers, divorce can be one of the most challenging situations you’ll ever confront in your entire life.
However, it doesn’t have to be that way.
While divorce is never easy, it can be palpable and manageable.
These tips can help you have hope as you walk through these days.
How to Get Through Your Divorce with Hope
First, to get through your divorce with hope, shift your thinking.
Most people who go through a divorce are hurt, angry, and even vengeful, but these feelings won’t do you any good, especially in the long run.
It’s important to shift your thinking to how your actions during the divorce are going to impact the rest of your life.
Studies have shown that while revenge may feel good at the moment, it leads to long-term emotional damage for all parties involved.
It can be extremely difficult to change how you think about your divorce, but it’s one of the most important things you can do, particularly if you have children.
They need to see that you’re handling the split with maturity and a positive attitude so they don’t inadvertently assume the divorce is going to be a terrible event in their lives.
In fact, in many ways, they will become stronger through all of this.
Second, to get through your divorce with hope, present a united front.
To avoid potential harm to your children, you and your soon-to-be-ex-spouse must present a united front.
Tell them about the divorce together and ensure that they understand the basics about why a parent is moving out of the home.
You don’t need to go in-depth about your marital issues, but your kids need to know they’re not to blame in any way, shape, or form.
The only way to do this is for both of you to sit down and calmly answer all their questions together, even if you don’t feel calm inside.
For the most part, your children are going to want to know how their life is going to change because of the divorce.
You should explain that their routines and schedules will be different to some degree, but that you’re both going to do everything possible to minimize disruption in their lives.
If they’re old enough, get their input on how they want their lives to look during and after the divorce and work together to make that happen.
Third, to get through your divorce with hope, commit to compromise and collaboration.
Let’s face it: you and your former spouse are not going to agree on everything during the divorce.
But by committing to compromise and collaboration, you’re signaling your willingness to work things out as peacefully as you can.
Difficult situations should be negotiated away from your children and in a neutral site.
Involve a mediator to act as a referee who can pause negotiations when things get tense.
Remind yourself why you’re committing to an amicable divorce in the first place.
Truly, you want to get to the other side without emotionally damaging yourself or your children.
Finally, become a person of prayer to get through your divorce with hope.
As you are walking through these days, it’s a great time to begin praying.
Prayer is simply talking things over with God.
He can heal, restore, renew, and renovate your life after a divorce.
If you aren’t comfortable with prayer, you may want to read this article that I wrote about prayer. It’s called, “Simple Tips on How to Pray.”
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