I curled up on my bed, staring at my cell phone and willing it to vanish.
Dreading the phone call awaiting me. My heart racing with each passing second.
Next, to me my husband sat and said, “Just go ahead and get it started, otherwise it will never get better. You know you have to.”
You see, weeks prior some little tiny words welled up and spewed out of my mouth causing great pain. Little situations, left unchecked and unresolved, had built up until my best friend and I both sat with a mountain of hurt between us.
Now at a crossroads- would we fight to fix the friendship, or would we call the
relationship a loss and go our separate ways?
How to Heal a Broken Friendship
It’s here I must confess, I am not a fan of resolving a conflict. Because if there is anything I have learned in my 35 years of life it’s that any relationship in crisis involves two parties who led to the crisis. If this relationship was in conflict then I had sin involved in it- and I never like having my sin called out.
So in the past, I have walked away from situations I didn’t want to fix.
But repeating the past only brings more of the same.But repeating the past only brings more of the same. Click To Tweet
I reached for the phone and dialed her number.
She answered, and we spent the next hour and a half hashing out the wounds we had caused each other. Some sucker punch moments happened. A lot of tears were shed. Forgiveness requested. And granted.
That phone call was one of the hardest phone calls I’ve ever had, but in so many ways it is by far the best call I’ve experienced.
Because relationships washed in grace are able to withstand the darkest of storms. In this sin-riddled world, all our relationships will face storms. So if we want them to endure we need all the grace.
And, how do we repair strained relationships with friends when it’s easier to start over with someone new?How do we repair strained relationships with friends when it's easier to start over with someone new? Click To Tweet
How to Heal a Broken Friendship
First… Start with yourself instead of the other person.
It’s incredibly easy to point fingers at the other party when our feelings have been hurt, or our pride wounded. In order to have a true transformation in our relationships, we must begin by examining our hearts and lives and taking responsibility for our part in the relationship fracture. Were we gentle? Humble? Kind? Patient?
When we take on an offense we put up a defense.When we take on an offense we put up a defense. Click To Tweet
This is never good when dealing with relationships because we will then filter everything we do and say through our defensive wall.
Coming back to these key verses help us maintain the right attitude for healthy relationships.
As I sat through the phone call and heard my friend’s heart, instead of just her complaints, I realized not only was I wounded; I caused wounds. In taking responsibility for my part of the problem the tension in the call shifted.
Second… Forgive like Jesus.
In our throw away society it is easy to be offended and walks away. But Jesus isn’t a walk away from God.
Quite the opposite- Jesus is a come toward God. When the relationship was fractured between Adam and God, God stepped toward Adam while Adam ran away.
“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with
compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other
and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as
the Lord forgave you.”
Colossians 3:13-14 NIV
In our verses today, Paul tells us to not only forgive- but forgive like Jesus.
Third… Move toward the person and ask for forgiveness and offer forgiveness.
When we forgive like Jesus we see healing power.When we forgive like Jesus we see healing power. Click To Tweet
Not that every relationship fractured will have perfect restoration and healing, but we will release the power of sin in our lives. We let go of offenses and tear down Satan’s power to breed resentment, bitterness, and anger.
Relationships are a messy business. And we live in a messy sin-riddled world. The combination of broken people doing life in a broken world will often end in broken relationships. But Jesus gives us the remedy for healing broken relationships-Himself.
Let’s choose today to be women who clothe ourselves as Jesus did- with humility, gentleness, patience, compassion, and grace. Is there a relationship in your life right now that is fractured? How can you move toward healing and away from hurt?
Begin healing today by laying the relationship down at the feet of Jesus for Him to begin healing.Begin healing today by laying the relationship down at the feet of Jesus for Him to begin healing. Click To Tweet
“Lord Jesus, we thank You for the gift of grace and the gift of people. Help us to be women who are willing to confess our sin and forgive as You forgive. Help me see my part in any wounded relationships and give me the strength to take responsibility and confess my sin. Help me forgive those who have wounded me because You have forgiven me.”
About the Author:
Natalia Drumm is a wife, mother, and Bible study teacher with a passion for building community and encouraging women to live rooted in the Word of God.
She and her husband raise there three boys in southwest Florida. You’ll find Natalia’s writing on her site, www.nataliadrumm.com as well as on ministry sites A Wife Like Me and Living by Design Ministries, where she serves as Bible study content editor. Natalia also writes devotional’s for Lifeway’s Journey magazine.
Her small group, Girlfriends in the Word is a ministry passion of hers and where she fuels her writing content from.
Connect with her on Instagram:
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