How to Love Your Spouse When Your Nest is ALMOST Empty

It’s our wedding anniversary today.

We are celebrating 26 years together in marriage.

We’ve been blessed with two college-age children–a boy and a girl–who both live with us at home while they work and commute to class.


Our front door may as well be a revolving door as much as it opens and closes during a typical week.

Additionally, the four of us occupy a small apartment on the second floor of the seminary housing complex. To say we live in very close quarters would be an understatement.

Also, our bills are considerable during this season of life. From tuition and books to cell phones, to car insurance, to health insurance to grocery bills, we are spending the dollars like never before in our marriage. Fortunately, there are some great online resources and reviews to help us (a good one is 

The hours our kids keep are sometimes crazy. One is up early, the other is up late. It’s noisy, lively, and chaotic most days. And, much of the time, it is a lot of fun.

But, how do we love each other well during such a crazy season in life – this almost empty nest?

What do I do as a wife to make sure our marriage doesn’t get put on the back burner or neglected or ignored?

Can I suggest just four things that I do to try to love my spouse well?

First, put on the Lord Jesus Christ.

Romans 13:14 says we are to, “Dress yourselves in Christ and be up and about!”

Just as I put on my workout clothes and tennis shoes before I go to the gym, I also take the time to “dress myself in Christ” before I head out the door.

How do dress in Christ?

  • You spend time alone with Him.
  • You pray and talk to Him about the day.
  • Or, you read from the Bible and take some truths out to help you throughout the day.
  • You just spend a moment being still before the Creator of this universe.
  • You surrender your heart and your life to Him.
  • And, you ask Him to fill you up – to dress you – for the day ahead.

Because I spend time with the Savior each day, I am “dressed” in Him for the day.

Filling up with His love makes all of my relationships better – especially my relationship with my husband and kids.

Second, put on flexibility and patience.

Colossians 3:12-13 tells us to, “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”

Daily, especially during this season, I have to put on a spirit of kindness, patience, compassion, and humility. I choose to dress myself in a gracious spirit rather than a demanding or impatient spirit.

Flexibility is crucial at this stage of parenting and marriage.

Dinner plans change, dates change, cars are exchanged, keys get misplaced, accidents happen, and life demands flexibility.

Some of our favorite dates have happened because we’ve remained flexible.

“Oh, the kids aren’t coming home for dinner? Let’s go out!”

“Oh, the kids are both working late? Smooching time. Woohoo!”

“What do you mean the kids can’t go with us on this trip? I guess we will have a romantic getaway!”

Because I try to put on a spirit of patience and flexibility each day, I find that life is much more of an adventure than it is a burden.

There is much more laughter and fun when I stay loose.

You can read the remainder of this post today on my friend Lori Schumaker’s site where I have the joy of sharing a guest post.

To get to Lori’s site, click HERE.

Were you encouraged today?

Would you share this article with a friend, co-worker, or family member?

Maybe you can send it to a friend or family member?

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© Melanie Redd and Ministry of Hope, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner are strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Melanie Redd and Ministry of Hope with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.


Blessed wife of Randy for over 25 years, mom to two great college students, blogger, women's ministry coach, speaker and author who is amazed by God's grace-

10 thoughts on “How to Love Your Spouse When Your Nest is ALMOST Empty

  1. Happy Anniversary to “TWO SPECIAL PEOPLE” . You both mean so much to so many people. Thank you both for how you show God’s love in every way of your ministries. I looked back at the picture 26 years ago. Special moments mean so much.

  2. Such great tips Melanie. Being married 30 years I can relate to the pressures you speak of. It is nice to read something that pertains to older marriages. Folks often forget that the work isn’t completed just because parenting is. Happy Anniversary!

    1. Thank you, Michelle!
      I’ll bet you can appreciate what it’s like to be married awhile! There are definitely some ups and downs!
      And, we continue to be “works in progress,” don’t we!
      Thank you for the kind anniversary wishes!
      Sure do appreciate you~

  3. Wow, 26 years — that’s totally amazing. Congrats to you and Randy!
    Thank you for sharing these tips, which clearly have worked for you all these years. I loved the idea of putting on these things on — it makes it clear that it’s a deliberate action. We get to choose.
    This is such great advice for the married, single, young marrieds, you name it. I’ll be sharing this all around today!

    1. Thank you, Marva!
      It seems like we aren’t old enough to have been married as long as we have!!
      Appreciate you and your encouraging words today!
      Praying you will stay safe as the winds and the waves churn around you!

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