4 Powerful Steps to Mending Broken Hearts
4 Powerful Steps to Mending Broken Hearts
We’d been planning, praying, and preparing for almost a year.
Headed in a direction that we sensed the Lord was leading, we were moving forward.
And, then suddenly, without warning, everything changed.
Consequently, our hearts were shattered and broken!
Powerful Steps to Mending Broken Hearts
One brief, unexpected decision threw our plans, our hopes, and our dreams into a tailspin.
Under these circumstances, the trajectory of our lives was altered, and there was not one thing we could do about it.
Truly, our world turned upside down and left us…
- Dashed.
- Disappointed.
- Disheartened.
- In Tears.
- Wounded.
- Completely Crushed.
If you’ve lived long enough, you’ve been there as well.
One phone call.
Or, an email.
Or, a decision.
One meeting.
Or, one doctor’s visit.
One conversation.
Indeed, one moment can change everything.
For this reason, you cannot walk through this life unscathed.
We all face these painful, defining moments that test us and take us to our knees. Share on X
A Woman in the Bible
There’s a woman in scripture who faced one of these painful, defining moments.
She reached the point where her world came crashing down on her. Truly, she could take it no more. I love her story because it’s so raw and so real. We see the pain, and we see what she does with all of the hurt.
To bring with them, we find that her name is Hannah, and she’s dealing with a series of events that all build in her life until she has had enough.
In 1 Samuel 1, we read of the cruel “other” woman in her life with her constant taunting, comparing, and competition.
Then, we also discover that Hannah is deeply saddened by her inability to have children. Her barrenness weighs heavy upon her heart.
In addition, Hannah has to deal with a clueless husband who doesn’t understand what she is going through. He just doesn’t “get” her.
Finally, while seated at a large dinner on a family vacation, Hannah has a breakdown.
She comes “undone” and rises from the meal.
Her world has turned upside down and has left her feeling…
- Dashed.
- Disappointed.
- Disheartened.
- In Tears.
- Wounded.
- Completely Crushed.
From her story, I think we can gain some wonderful insights.
I believe we can follow Hannah’s example and find hope again.
Here are 4 actions we can take when our hearts are broken and shattered to pieces.
These are 4 powerful steps to mending broken hearts.
Here are 4 actions we can take when our hearts are broken and shattered to pieces. These are 4 powerful steps to mending broken hearts. Share on X
First – Pour out your heart!
Hannah goes to church.
She journeys over to the synagogue to pour out her heart to God in prayer.
“Hannah was in deep anguish, crying bitterly as she prayed to the Lord.” 1 Samuel 1:10
We don’t have to go to the temple to pray. We can pray anywhere and anytime. But, we must pray.
Truly, we must let it out!
Get it out!
The poison of pain cannot stay locked inside. It’s unhealthy! Share on X
So, when your world is coming apart and your heart is breaking:
- Pray it out.
- Write it out.
- Talk it out.
- Journal it out.
- Get it out!
I love Hebrews 4:16 where we are encouraged to:
“So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God.
There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.”
Second – Ask and allow others to pray for you and with you!
In 1 Samuel 1:17, the priest Eli offers a blessing for Hannah. He says:
“May the God of Israel grant the request you have asked of him.”
There is something so sweet and comforting about having people pray for you and bless you! Share on X
It is life-altering and powerful.
We experienced this recently in our lives.
While at a conference, we had the chance to hear from an older pastor who’d been in ministry for a long time.
His message blessed us and encouraged us greatly. And, as he was closing out the session, he invited those ministers who were hurting to stand to be prayed over.
My husband and I both almost jumped to our feet.
This pastor called others to come around those standing to lay hands on them and pray over them while he prayed.
As people gathered around us, and the prayers began, we both started weeping like babies. It was loud. It was messy. And, it was ugly crying.
And yet it was so refreshing. To be prayed for and to be prayed over greatly lifted the load we were carrying.
The same will be true for you.
As you allow friends, family, and trusted mentors to pray for you and with you, your load will lighten. Share on X
Third – Surrender the issue to the Lord! Give it up!
Hannah poured out her heart in prayer in 1 Samuel 1:10-16. She prayed with such fervor that Eli thought she was drunk.
However, she was just dumping her pain at the feet of the Lord. She was surrendering her deep sorrows to the Lord.
Indeed, she was giving up her hurt and giving it over to God.
When she finished, we are told in 1 Samuel 1:18, “Her face was no longer sad.”
For you and me, this…
- May take 3 prayer times a day.
- May mean getting up in the middle of the night to pray.
- Or, it may be a “surrender-a-day” for 31 days.
- This will not be easy, but it is possible.
Once you let it go, you let go of the need to fix it, control it, or change it. You get okay with it, and your face will no longer be sad.
No matter what is hurting your heart, you can get “okay” with it and move on with life.
How is this possible?
We read the answer in Philippians 4:6-7:
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
No matter what is hurting your heart, you can get okay with it and move on with life. Share on X
Fourth – Do the Next Thing!
Hannah went on with life and living.
In 1 Samuel 1:19, we are told that she rose early, worshiped with her family, and traveled home.
“The entire family got up early the next morning and went to worship the Lord once more. Then they returned home to Ramah.”
How do you do the next thing?
- You get up.
- You breathe.
- And, you shower.
- You dress.
- You eat breakfast.
- Then, you just keep going.
I know some of you are struggling.
I’ve talked to you.
You may be in the deepest, darkest valley of your life!
Truly, you may think it is NEVER going to get better.
This pain may feel like it will never end.
There is one other word that I have for you today, and it comes from Psalm 27:13-14. King David was in one of the most challenging moments of his life.
His world was a mess.
At this moment, he did what we must do – He declared his trust in the Lord.
With tenacity and courage, he chose not to give up!
No matter what, he was going to wait for the goodness of the Lord.
“I would have lost heart unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the Lord
In the land of the living.
Wait on the Lord;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord!”
That is what we must resolve to do – especially while in the dark of night…
- Resolve to keep on keeping on.
- Press on.
- Stand firm.
That is what we must resolve to do – especially while in the dark of night… Resolve to keep on keeping on. Press on. Stand firm. Share on X
Don’t you dare give up!
1} First, pour out your heart to God!
2} Second, invite & allow others to pray for you and bless you.
3} Then, surrender this pain to the Lord.
4} Finally, get up and do the next thing.
In particular, I’m praying for you to not lose heart!
In particular, I’m praying for you to not lose heart! Share on X
So, what do you think?
What do you do when your heart is shattered?
And, how do you keep going when you want to quit?
Truly, I always enjoy hearing from you!
Want a little more Encouragement?
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE PURPOSE? (WHAT HAS GOD CALLED YOU TO DO?)
EFFECTIVE PRAYING TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE
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34 Comments
Beth · 01/13/2020 at 9:13 AM
I love the golden nuggets you’ve mined for us from Hannah’s story, Melanie! They truly provide the roadmap back to feeling encouraged in the Lord. Thank you for this reminder! Hugs to you!
helloredds@gmail.com · 01/14/2020 at 12:57 PM
Thank you, Beth!
You bless me with your kind words!
Melanie
Elizabeth · 12/19/2017 at 11:52 PM
Hi Melanie,
Thank you for writing this. That is such an amazing observation that when Hannah left her pain with the Lord, her face was no longer sad. I like how to say it can take time, but it’s possible. I’m going to remember that 🙂
helloredds@gmail.com · 01/04/2018 at 12:24 PM
Hey Elizabeth,
And, aren’t you grateful for the Bible characters who offer such powerful examples for us? I love how we can take our pain to God and leave it there.
Yes! I can take time. But it is possible to lay it all down.
Praying that God will bless you richly in 2018~
Melanie
Nina Lewis · 07/01/2016 at 9:12 PM
I’m so sorry to hear that life has thrown a monkey wrench in your plans! My heart goes out to you. Been there. Done that.
While my heart isn’t shattered, I have had a heavy one the last little while. Your words have brought comfort to me. I’m slowly letting others asking others to pray for me. (Why is asking for help so hard???) I can lay my problems at the Lord’s feet much easier. I can personally pray much easier. And, what else is there to do but do the next thing?
Is it pride? (I can take care of my own problems, I don’t need help from others . . .?)
Thank you for your inspired words.
helloredds@gmail.com · 07/02/2016 at 8:40 AM
Hey Nina,
Thank you for stopping by to leave a thoughtful word. I appreciate you and your compassion. We are doing much better, but it has been a crazy few months!
Heavy hearts are hard as well! I’m sorry that you have been hurting and grateful that you were comforted by my post. I do think it’s hard to let others know we are hurting – especially as bloggers, leaders, and those who are usually upbeat.
For me, I just don’t like to be the one who is down. I like to be the one who is lifting others up. But, sometimes, we must let others pray with us, comfort us, and give back to us. If we don’t, we (and they) will miss a huge blessing!
Praying for you today – that God will give you some sweet praying sisters that you can be totally honest and open with!
I know I have a few of these, and I consider them one of God’s kindest gifts!!
Blessings to you,
Melanie
Laurie S · 07/01/2016 at 9:43 AM
Hi Melanie – happy Friday. I found you through Michelle at Grammie Time. Wonderful post, very insightful and oh so poignant. I am keeping this close to my heart. Life as its ups and downs (and some real downers) but I am so thankful we have Jesus. Thank you dear sister in Christ…
helloredds@gmail.com · 07/01/2016 at 4:32 PM
Hey Laurie,
Thanks for stopping by to visit and leave a good word today! It’s nice to “meet” you.
I’m so glad you were encouraged by my post. I prayed that God would use it affirm and bless many who were hurting.
Whatever is going on in your world, I pray that God will deeply comfort and encourage your heart!
Blessings to you,
Melanie
aimeeimbeau · 06/30/2016 at 10:04 PM
Hannah’s story is one of my favorites, Melanie! I plan to share about her next week in my prayer series – when our prayers are tears. Thanks for sharing on Grace and Truth.
helloredds@gmail.com · 07/01/2016 at 4:29 PM
Thanks, Aimee!
Hannah is one of my favorites too. I think women can so relate to her.
And, I look forward to reading your prayer series!
Lori Schumaker of Seaching for Moments · 06/30/2016 at 5:34 PM
Melanie,
I am so proud of you for taking what the enemy meant for harm and using it for the good of the many that will stop here and read this beautiful encouragement and hope! You are such a blessing. I am still so sorry for the pain that was caused you and your husband. I’m praying for that continued healing. That continued next step! Love you much!! Lori
p.s. Thank you so much for being such a valuable part of the #MomentsofHope on Mondays!
helloredds@gmail.com · 07/01/2016 at 4:28 PM
Thank you, sweet friend! I have prayed that He would!
I so appreciate your kind words and your affirmation. It was a joy to get to speak to you on the phone!
Grateful for your prayers. You are a blessing to my life~
Melanie
Michelle · 06/30/2016 at 1:31 PM
I didn’t want to click this today on my party Mel. Because I already read it when I was in a good place the first time. But recently I received that phone call and now my heart is shattered so I forced myself to re-read again. Just because I needed the reminder. Thank you.
helloredds@gmail.com · 06/30/2016 at 4:31 PM
Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that you got a shattering phone call, Michelle!
They can come out of the blue, can’t they?
I’m praying for you – for whatever has caused the shatter.
Sure am crazy about you~
Elena Wiggins · 06/30/2016 at 8:56 AM
What a beautiful reminder! So often, I try to fix the broken heart issue on my own, only to end up feel in more shattered and more alone because I was not allowing anyone in. I have found it so encouraging to ask others to be praying for me and to surrender the heartbreak to the Lord. he has been so faithful each time.
helloredds@gmail.com · 06/30/2016 at 4:26 PM
Thank you, Elena! I’m so glad you stopped by for a visit today!
It’s so good to hear how you’ve been able to let others pray for you during the heartbreak. I can’t think of anything sweeter that friends can do for us. And, isn’t it refreshing to really surrender your pain to the Lord!
You’ve blessed me with your story and with your words today~
Melanie
Crystal Twaddell · 06/27/2016 at 10:47 AM
Melanie, this is such timely encouragement! And Psalm 37:13-14 is a key verse I have clung to many times, especially when surrendering seems the most difficult part of the process. Crystal~
helloredds@gmail.com · 06/29/2016 at 1:46 PM
Thank you, Crystal.
Don’t you love that passage in Psalms?
It’s one of my surrender verses as well.
Thanks for stopping by today to leave a good word.
Sure do appreciate you~
Blessings,
Melanie
Lauren Gaskill · 06/25/2016 at 6:16 PM
Oh, how I can relate to this post so much, dear Melanie. Thank you for sharing this! Such an encouragement. <3
helloredds@gmail.com · 06/26/2016 at 9:17 AM
Hey Lauren,
Thank you for stopping by to leave a kind word today. It’s good to connect with you.
I pray that God will sweetly comfort and minister to your heart~
Blessings,
Melanie
Laurie · 06/25/2016 at 4:32 PM
we are on the brink of separating, my husband and I. We have been married 36 yrs. We love each other BUT always that BUT- we have had several deaths in the past 11|2 yrs. My dad,his aunt brother and cousin. He has only his mom left and she’s 87. We have a bipolar daughter that moved in with us 4 months ago with our little 9yr old grandson and she moved out yesterday due to all the arguing and silent treatments and disrespectful treatment to each other. He won’t try marriage counseling with our pastor and has stated to me that “Yeah, God knows what’s happening and He is sooooo in control” I feel he is giving up…he is 59 with a severe heart condition I love him with all my heart- I am on my face in front of His throne. Please help me, Please pray for us…I do not want satan to win my family.
helloredds@gmail.com · 06/26/2016 at 9:15 AM
Hey Laurie,
I’m very sorry to hear about all of the hurt and the loss that you have been through. You and your family have dealt with much.
I will pray that God will give you grace as you get on your face before Him. I love the verse in Psalm 34:18 which says, “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.”
Praying today that God will be so close to you and will rescue you as your spirit is crushed!
Keep on keeping on. Press on! God can give you victory!
Thank you for sharing this request with me. I will pray for you every time God brings you to mind~
Stop by again and update me,
Melanie
masqueradingcrafter · 06/24/2016 at 7:28 PM
The one thing I do that you did not mention is to Worship God by singing to Him in your pain. Write out specific verses that speak to your situation and read them out loud daily morning and night. Always keep your mind on Christ and not on your situation. Do not isolate yourself from others.
—
Sometimes the pain is really showing us our weaknesses that we need to ask God to let His Power come into so that we can not only Glorify God but that God Himself is Glorified. Other times it is due to the Choices of another, in this case we need to Forgive. Forgiveness is a Choice not a Feeling. Choose first and then in time the feelings will come.
—
But as alot of people may not realize is that our Christian Leaders are attacked the most and the heaviest as they are teaching us how to stand up to Satan and his Demons with the Truth. But , too, Pastors are also Human. I always pray for my Pastors. Thank You for your service in the name of Christ {{{hugz}}}}
helloredds@gmail.com · 06/26/2016 at 9:12 AM
Thank you for stopping by to leave a thoughtful word today! I appreciate your visit.
Worship is a wonderful way to deal with pain! Great suggestion.
I love the idea of writing out verses to read aloud often and the plan to be with others.
What great suggestions! You’ve shared some wise words.
Hope you have a blessed day~
Melanie
Michelle · 06/24/2016 at 2:22 PM
Do you know my two grands are named after Elijah and Hannah! Oh yes, my daughter did well in choosing. This is an amazing post. Will be sharing.
helloredds@gmail.com · 06/24/2016 at 6:49 PM
Oh, I love the names, Elijah, and Hannah. Those are two of my favorite characters in all of the Bible!
Thank you for sharing the post. I’m praying that many will be encouraged!
You bless me, sister!
mrsdavidchristensen · 06/24/2016 at 1:36 PM
I love this post! You describe tragedy and suffering so perfectly with your lists of feelings and moments that can change everything. My parents actually named me after Hannah in the bible so I love how you weave her story in and use her as an example! God bless!
helloredds@gmail.com · 06/24/2016 at 2:17 PM
Hey Hannah,
What a wonderful name! She is one of my favorite characters in the Bible!
Thank you for stopping by to leave a thoughtful comment.
I’m blessed by you and by your visit.
Melanie
dawnklinge · 06/24/2016 at 12:20 PM
I do the same thing that you did when my heart is shattered. I trust God and do the next thing in front of me. You have said it so beautifully. I’m so thankful that the heavy load you were carrying has lifted. Thank you for sharing your wise insights, Melanie.
helloredds@gmail.com · 06/24/2016 at 2:16 PM
Thank you, Dawn!
I so appreciate you and your prayers!
Your friendship means the world to me, and I’m blessed by you!
Deb Wolf · 06/24/2016 at 7:22 AM
Absolutely YES, to everything you’ve said here. You know we’ve been there. You’re right. If you’ve lived a while you most likely have been there. And your plan of action is exactly what we’ve done. We’re still waiting. Nothing has changed . . . but our hearts. We’re closer to God. We’re content. We’re happy. God is at work and I will trust Him. It is well with my soul. Don’t you just love that sentence. It is well…
Blessings to you, my friend!!
helloredds@gmail.com · 06/24/2016 at 9:48 AM
Thank you, Deb!
And, yes, it is well.
Amy Carmichael said it well, “In acceptance lieth peace.”
My prayer is that as we have begun to enjoy that peace, we will encourage others to as well.
Sure am blessed by you~
Melanie
Brenda Nixon · 06/24/2016 at 6:29 AM
I have a friend that has continued to do this for more than 20 years. I can’t think of one way her life has gotten better. It has gotten worse. Yet she continues to serve with kindness and looks to God daily. I have never seen her repay evil with evil. She is currently looking for a better job. Would you pray for her? Would you pray for me to trust God as I hurt for her? Her life and circumstances are one of my greatest perplexities. Heaven holds great rewards for her. We were just thanking God yesterday that He is in control and that He doesn’t ever take His eyes off of her.
helloredds@gmail.com · 06/24/2016 at 9:47 AM
Hey Brenda,
Thank you for stopping by to leave such a thoughtful word today. I’m always glad when you visit!
And, there are some things in life that just don’t make sense, aren’t there! In fact, some of the sweetest and best servants of the Lord NEVER overcame the obstacles in this life. I think of women like Corrie ten Boom and men like Paul in the Bible.
Maybe God uses those most who can stand the greatest “heat” in the kitchen!
I don’t know, but I do trust that He knows!
Sure do love you~
Melanie