5 Important Things Every Man Wants to Hear

Our men love to hear certain things from us, according to my very wise husband. What are they? What do our guys want to hear from us? Here are 5 great suggestions. Why not drop by and check them out? #men #marriage #relationships
Share the Hope!

It was one of the most unusual moments I can remember in our entire marriage.

My husband and I were driving home from a trip and spending a lot of time in the car.

I decided to pose a question to him about one of my upcoming blogs.

It was one of the most unusual moments I can remember in our entire marriage. Click To Tweet

5 Important Things Every Man Wants to Hear

I asked:

“Honey, I’m writing an article about ‘5 Important Things Every Man Wants to Hear.’

Do you have any suggestions for my article?”

  • He didn’t blink.

  • He didn’t stammer or stutter.

  • There wasn’t a pause.

  • He didn’t even take much of a breath.

  • My very laid-back, calm, easy-going, slow-speaking husband from Texas didn’t hesitate.

He immediately gave me a list of 5 things he loves to hear and would love to hear more often.

I had to write as fast as I could write to keep up with him.

Within 10 minutes, I had an incredible list!

And, so, I offer you the wisdom of this great man I’ve lived with for almost 30 years now.

Here are 5 Important Things Every Man Wants to Hear

1) I Respect You!

As a man, as a person, as a dad, as a husband, as you are – I respect and admire you. Click To Tweet

Even after all of these years, I still respect you.

“So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” Ephesians 5:33

Here are some practical ways to communicate what every man wants to hear:

Ask his opinion and listen to what he has to say.

Respond without arguing with him.

Don’t put him down to your friends.

Try not to belittle or make fun of him in public.

 Don’t belittle or make fun of him in front of the kids.

If you disagree, try to still treat him with consideration.

Speak highly of him to friends and family.

2) I Appreciate You as a Man!

“I appreciate you and who you are as a man of integrity. I’m so grateful for who you are.

I am thankful that I am your wife/girlfriend.” 

Here are some practical ways to communicate what every man wants to hear:

Come up with 3-4 things you appreciate about your man.

His Sense of humor,

His Compassionate way of dealing with people,

Maybe his Honesty,

His Wisdom,

His Intelligence, 

Or, his Strength

Tell him at least one of these attributes that you appreciate.

3) I Appreciate What You Do!

“I am thankful for all that you do for us – for working hard, for giving your best, and for providing for us as you do.

Men like to be appreciated. It means a great deal to us.” Click To Tweet

Here are some practical ways to communicate appreciation for what your man does:

Use your words and thank him.

Make a big deal in front of the kids for something he did.

Brag to his friends and your friends over something he did.

Give him a big hug and whisper your gratitude to him.

4) I Love You!

“We like to hear it too.

We like to know that you love us!”

Here are some practical ways to communicate what every man wants to hear:

Give him lots of hugs and kisses.

Send him a nice note, card, email, or text message.

Buy him a little gift that he will enjoy.

Do some kind of act of service for him – wash his car, make his favorite meal.

Spend time with him doing what he loves to do – go to a ballgame or an action movie with him.

5) I Think You Are the Best, and I Would Choose You if I had to do it All Over Again!

“I’m really glad that I picked you.

You are the best one, and I would pick you again.“

Here are some practical ways to communicate what every man wants to hear:

(This one makes me think of some old songs. Maybe you can use one of these titles to communicate your love)

“We’re still having fun, and you’re still the ONE.”

 “You’re the ONE that I want.”

 “I can’t stop loving YOU.”

 “I will always love YOU.”

Many years ago, I was water skiing with two of my best friends. My dad was driving us around the lake on a gorgeous summer day.

At one point we stopped to rest and have a snack. As we paused, my dad started talking to us about boys.

We were all single at the time.

My dad teased us a little, and then he asked a very serious question:

“Isn’t there some guy out there that you girls RESPECT?”

I don’t know who my friends pictured when he posed the question.

But, when my dad asked that question, I immediately thought of Randy.

Randy was a single guy at our church who I thought very highly of.

Not long after that boat trip, all three of us girls were engaged; all of us married men that we respected within a year of that day at the lake.

And, we are all still married to those same good men—after 25 years.

My man just happens to be named “Randy!”

Want more marriage encouragement?

5 MORE Things Every Man Wants to Hear

25 Ways to Make Your Marriage Better

9 Biblical Ways to Keep Your Marriage Sweet

The Unfair Task of Making God Priority Over Your Mate


Our men love to hear certain things from us, according to my very wise husband. What are they? What do our guys want to hear from us? Here are 5 great suggestions. Why not drop by and check them out? #men #marriage #relationships

To my friends who are men:

  • We honestly don’t always know what to say to you. We get it wrong sometimes.

  • If your lady isn’t telling you these sorts of things, you could share the list with her!

  • If you do it gently, she probably won’t mind. You could even send her a link to this post~

Let me know what you think—how’s my list?

To my friends who are women:

As wives and as women, we have a completely different set of needs and things we like to hear. (I’ll write that post soon).

  • But, our men are wired to want to hear our words as my husband shared with me.

  • They want to know we admire them.

  • They like to hear how much we appreciate them for who they are.

  • Our guys want to hear our appreciation for the things they do for us.

  • They like to hear that we love them.

  • And, they like to know that we would choose them again if we had the chance.

Maybe you will want to test these out on your man??

What do you think??

Were you encouraged by what you read?

Then, would you share this article with a friend, co-worker, or family member?

Or, maybe you can send it to a friend or family member?

This blog occasionally uses affiliate links and may contain affiliate links. Additionally, Melanie Redd is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program. This is an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees. These are earned by advertising and linking to amazon.com. Also, for more on my disclosure policy, click HERE.

© Melanie Redd and Hope Ministry, 2023. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Further, excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Melanie Redd and Hope Ministry, LLC. Please give appropriate and specific directions to the original content.

About helloredds@gmail.com 427 Articles
Blessed wife of Randy for over 25 years, mom to two great college students, blogger, women's ministry coach, speaker and author who is amazed by God's grace-


  1. sounds like someone didnt get enough praise from his parents growing up….a loin doesnt need to be told how strong and mighty he is he knows this!

    • Hey Teresa,

      Thanks for stopping by to leave a comment. We appreciate your visit.

      And, actually, my husband comes from one of the most loving homes ever! He doesn’t have to be encouraged, but it sure does make our marriage sweeter!

      Encouragement is like having cake with ice cream and icing. No, it’s not necessary, but it sure makes the dessert sweeter.

      Hope you have a blessed day~

  2. I’d like to add to this list: I am proud of you. It’s an incredible boost to self esteem that essentially after a hard task, or meeting a difficult goal, Friends and coworkers and bosses won’t say it, but a wife can and should.

  3. Thank you so much for your wonderful advise! I will definitely be visiting and reading more!! Thank you

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  5. Men sometimes can be complicated. A wife really needs understand her husband in order to encourage them. I must say this article has covered the greater part of what a wife can do to encourage her husband. However there are some things men would want their wives to know but they will not tell them. A wife can discover some of these things on her own and be in better positions to encourage their husbands. Indeed Men are not a mystery when you know how to read them!

  6. After 9 years in marriage with my hubby with 3 kids, my husband started going out with other ladies and showed me cold love, on several occasions he threatened to divorce me if I dare question him about his affair with other ladies, I was totall

  7. Glad to find and read this. Thank you Melanie. Will surely continue reading your blog. God bless you.

  8. Hi..Mel. Reading your blog makes me feel like knowing you personally. Thanks for your encouraging and open minded list. Need that badly. Things are not quite well here with our marriage but hopefully this list of yours could help. Thanks again n please share more..
    Hugs… Tyas

  9. I have found that my husband LOVES to hear he’s appreciated. Me saying thank you for even the smallest thing sends him over the moon. Great post, Melanie!

  10. Hi, I’m here for the very first time :). I’m not married, but I’m in a very happy realtionship with the man I love 🙂 (and would choose again if I had to do it all over again 😉 ). I really like your post and your husband’s advice and I’m sure I’ll be here more often from now on! 🙂
    Ula. http://www.simpleula.com

    • Hey Ula,
      It’s nice to “meet” you!
      I appreciate you stopping by to leave a kind comment.
      And, I’m so glad that you are in a happy relationship with the man you love. Wonderful!
      Please do stop by again for a visit. I look forward to visiting your site and chatting with you on Instagram!
      Blessings to you,

  11. Great words of wisdom from that man of yours 🙂
    Blessings and hugs,

  12. That’s really amazing article.. Thank you for your sharing and insights.. May God bless your lovely life you and Randy.
    Please keep share such articles 🙂

  13. Melanie, thank you so much for your advice. I have been married for 15 years and am not good at communicating my feelings to my husband. You are awesome! Thank you for your list it really did help.

    • Hey Kristine,
      I really appreciate you stopping by to leave a word today. You have encouraged me with your kind words!
      And, even if you aren’t great with words, you can learn (or just borrow mine!)
      Your husband will be grateful for any words of affirmation that you share with him. Keep trying! You can do this!
      Praying God will richly bless your marriage!

  14. I’m here to give a great testimony about my family, Dr Ekaka just restored back my family i have been have misunderstanding with my husband and his family we both have been living separately for over 1 year now. Till last week that i find a testimony on the internet on how Dr Ekaka ekakaspelltemple@ yahoo. com help someone to bring back his family together which was the same issue that i was going through, I contact him about my problem and he told me what i needed to do after 24 hours i got a call from my husband asking me to forgive him for what has been going on it was just like a dream to be as things began to happen the same way Dr Ekaka told me. I am so happy right now that i have my family back together again.

  15. This is a beautiful post and so very true! People ask me how my husband and I are so strong after 23 years of marriage and this post explains it in such a way that I never could. I am going to share this with all my friends. Thank you and may God continue to bless you and your husband!

    • Thanks, Lynn!

      I really appreciate you stopping by to leave a kind word this morning!

      Thank you for your encouragement and for sharing this post! You bless me!

      I pray that God will continue to strengthen and fortify your marriage for 23 more years!

      Hope you have a wonderful day today~

  16. I love your Blog! These are great thoughts for encouraging your husband. It has been my greatest ministry!

    • Thank you, Mrs. Joyce!

      You bless me with your kind words~

      And, you have been a wonderful model of how to encourage your husband!

      I appreciate you stopping by to leave a kind word today~

    • Thanks, Alison!

      I do have a really sweet man. And, I think you should tell your man how much you appreciate him! He will love that~

      Appreciate you stopping by and leaving a kind word today!
      Hope you have a blessed day~

    • Hey Holly,

      Thanks for stopping by and leaving a kind word today.

      And, I’m working on that what a wife likes to hear. I hope to post that on Friday.

      By the way, I really apprecaite you~

  17. Thank you so much for linking with #TwinklyTuesday. I think it’s so important to hear not just what our loved ones need to hear from us, but how.

    • Hey Katherine,

      Thanks for stopping by and leaving a kind word today! I appreciate you and your visit.

      I’ll be stopping by again to Thursday favorites. I’m really enjoying meeting so many great bloggers!

      Hope you have a blessed day today~

      • I first heard these words nearly 9 years ago from 1 of my Christian sisters whom I met through a Christian brother. This sister said that my brother (in Christ) said these words and informed her that he didn’t need to be loved he needed to be respected. I had set out on a journey to discover this and learned it first hand. Thank you for the reminder. It is my prayer that we as women pray for the humility to yield to these very acts. Blessings to you in the highest for such words of wisdom sis.

        • Thank you for stopping by to leave a kind word today.
          You have some wise Christian sisters in your life!
          It is a great thing to realize how we can best minister to our men!
          I pray that God will bless you and your relationships~

  18. My husband and I are Christians, celebrating our 40th wedding anniversary today. We have been though some tough times in all these years, and I know that I’m not the easiest person to live with. I have tried to do a lot of the things you suggest (I washed his car, sent him appreciative notes, mow the lawn because it’s painful for him to physically do so, etc) but he rarely takes notice. And he doesn’t reciprocate. Nor does he act like he appreciates it. I’m not sure he loves me anymore, except that he does come home every night. I’ve even lost 70 pounds over the last 18 months, but he hasn’t complimented me on how good I look, when other’s have noticed. Not once!! And he’s the one I want to hear it from the most! I wonder why he’s still with me?

    • Hey Laura,

      Thanks for stopping by today and leaving a comment. I really appreciate you and your visit.

      I’m sad to hear that things are challenging right now for you in your marriage. It does seem like all of us have some highs and some lows in our relationships with our spouses.

      I will tell you that although I hold a seminary degree with some counseling courses, I am not a trained counselor. However, I can encourage you as a sister in Christ.

      First, I will pledge to pray for you. Each time God brings you to mind, I will lift you up in prayer.

      Second, I would encourage you to find a trusted pastor’s wife or older women where you live and invite her to pray with you for your marriage.

      Third, I have a post that I wrote for a friend who was struggling in marriage to share with you: http://www.melanieredd.com/12-steps-to-saving-your-marriage/

      Fourth, I have a great book to suggest – Wife School by Julie Gordon. Available on Amazon.com.

      Finally, have you considered Christian counseling – for you or for you and your man? There is no shame in talking to a godly counselor who will open the Word and talk with you and your husband.

      It sounds like a hard situation, but nothing is impossible for our God. Today is not the day to quit.

      I encourage you to draw up really close to Jesus and keep on keeping on.

      I will pray, and I’d love to hear back on how things are going~

  19. Thank you so much for the reminder. I tell my husband that I love him everyday, and I daily say thank you. But I need to let him know more that I respect him, value him and that I would choose him again, and again. Thanks!

    • Hey Nikki,

      Thanks for stopping by and leaving a kind comment today. I appreciate you and your visit.

      And, it sounds like you are a great wife! You go girl! Keep taking good care of that man!

      Hope you have a blessed weekend~

  20. Great list. Relationships are two way streets and both parties should give equal amount of respect. IT is not 50%-50% it is 100%-100%. Thanks for sharing this at Thursday Favorite Things!

    • Thanks for stopping by today!

      Appreciate your affirmation and kind words.

      And, I’m enjoying being part of the link up.

      Thanks for hosting it~
      Hope you have a blessed weekend,

  21. You are a near-neighbor at Grace & Truth today and am thankful that I stopped by. My husband and I have been married 22 years and get along beautifully, but you have reminded me of some real special ways that I want to continually tell him how much I love, respect and honor him.
    Thanks, Randy, too!
    Caring through Christ, ~ linda

    • Hey Linda,

      Thanks for much for stopping by and leaving a kind word. I appreciate you and your visit!

      And, it’s great to hear that you are in a happy marriage! Yeah! Keep going strong~

      You have blessed me today and encouraged me with your words~

  22. This is refreshing and I’m so glad to see the communication between you and your husband. Thank you so much for sharing this with us Grace & Truth!

  23. Great list. I think your husband hit the nail on the head. What man wouldn’t love to hear these things and they are part of a healthy husband – wife relationship. Thanks for sharing these thoughts.
    Gail Purath

  24. Your husband is a wise man 🙂 I should remember this and try to do this everyday for my husband. I feel like we both take each other for granted, it’s hard not too, we hardly ever see each other and depend on the other to do things around the house and forget to thank each other when it does happen.

    liz @ sundays with sophie

    • Hey Liz,

      My husband is a wise man! I’ll affirm him today, and let him know others think so too!

      And, it is so easy to take each other for granted, isn’t it! We are going on 25 years, and I often have to be reminded to appreciate our marriage.

      Thanks for stopping by today and encouraging my heart!
      Hope you have a blessed day,

  25. I love this post! I think your hubby nailed what men like to hear in the order they like to hear it. I know my husband would much rather be told I respect him above anything else.

    • Thanks, Anastasia!

      I really appreciate your kind words and your visit!

      And, I think my hubby did do very well in his list! I’d be interested to hear what your hubby thought of the list.

      Thank you for stopping by and encouraging my heart today~
      Hope you have a blessed day,

  26. This is a great post and I know my hubby would agree with yours on all 5 of these points!
    I love the question your dad asked you – isn’t there one young man out there that you RESPECT. What a great way to get our daughters thinking about one of the most important qualities for a husband. If you don’t respect him, don’t even bother with him.

    • Hey Aimee,

      Thanks for stopping by and leaving such a kind remark today! I really appreciate you and your visit~

      And, you are right – if you don’t respect those boys, why bother with them!!

      I hope you are doing well and having a blessed day today~

  27. This is a great post full of great advice. I read it this morning, and it stuck with me all day. I felt like I should come back and let you know that. Marriage is hard work. And I’ve been on a hard road with my marriage lately. It makes respect really hard. But… as you reminded me: it is needed by men. I resolve today to do better at respecting him. Thank you!

    • Hey Dana,

      Thanks for stopping by and leaving a kind word today! I appreciate you and both of your visits!!

      And, marriage is hard work. We’ve been at it for almost 25 years, and I hope to be at for 25 more. It is a daily choice.

      I’m sorry it has been hard for you, but I want to assure you that this is normal. All of us have good times and some really hard times. It is a daily choice to respect and honor that man.

      It’s almost like the more we respect them, the more that they act respectable!

      I will pray that God will give you grace and a willing spirit so that you can love that man no matter what he says or does. If you get stuck, pray and ask God for His help! Cry out to Him! He promises us grace and mercy to help in time of need~

      And, come back by any time. I’m happy to pray for you~

  28. Thank you for your thoughts. I’m getting ready to celebrate my 8 year wedding anniversary with my husband, and I’m willing to bet he’d agree 100% with this list. It’s a wonderful reminder that we all need to be respected and appreciated…and TOLD such things! #TwinklyTuesday

    • Hey Sara,

      Thanks for stopping by and leaving a kind comment! I appreciate you and your visit!

      And, congratulations on 8 years of marriage! I pray God will bless you with about 50 more!

      Hope you have a blessed day~

  29. Okay, this is phenomenal! Wonderful to know. We sometimes end up taking each other for granted and this is a wonderful reminder to not do that and to let our spouses know what they mean to us! Thank you for sharing and for commenting on my blog! Have a wonderful day!

    • Hey Benita,

      Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving a really kind word.

      You have encouraged me greatly today, and I appreciate you and your visit! Thanks for tweeting some of my quotes too!

      Hope you are having a great day, and I look forward to connecting with you again~


    • Hey Debbie,

      Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment today. I appreciate you and your visit.

      And, of course both men and women need love and respect. I was basing my comments on best-selling author and psychologist Gary Smalley’s findings. In his research, he has discovered that at the very core – men primarily need significance and respect and women primarily need security and affection.

      Of course, I am sure there are always exceptions to these findings. And, I appreciate your opinion.

      Look forward to connecting again~
      Hope you have a blessed day,

  30. This is a great post! It’s great that you got your information from the horse’s mouth 🙂 I’m encouraged to go encourage my husband…thank you again for sharing (I found you on Soul Survival)!

    • Hey Alex,

      Thanks for stopping by and leaving a kind word today. I appreciate you and your visit!

      And, it is great that my sweet man was so full of great ideas! I never would have imagined how quickly he would share those with me. And, please use them with your husband. I think they are pretty good!

      Glad to connect on Soul Survivor.
      I will look forward to reading your posts as well~

  31. Great words of wisdom!!!!! So glad to get them from Randy’s point of view! Loved you sharing your dad’s question. Wow the impact! Your’re going to make both of them famous!!! Love you sweet girl! Thanks for sharing these words of wisdom!

    • Thanks, Elizabeth!

      And, thank you for stopping by to leave a good word today. You have blessed me!

      I appreciate you and your visit~

      Also, just wanted you to know that I regularly pray for you and your family!
      Love you much,

    • Thanks, Debbie!

      And, thanks for your kind words today! I appreciate you an your visit!

      Thank you for the FB share as well.

      I look forward to connecting with you again soon~

  32. I’ve enjoyed Successful Solo Life for a large number of years only to recently find myself in a romantic relationship. I’m happy to say my man I can honestly say these things to & about. Thanks to you and your hubby, for some new ideas and confirming this ole gal has been on the right track. visiting thie week from mecoffee&jesus linkup. feel free to visit back anytime. Shandra

    • Hey Shandra,

      Thanks for stopping by and leaving a kind word today! I really appreciate you and your visit!

      And, it sounds like you have a great marriage! It seems we are always learning more about how to relate and how to strengthen our marriages.

      I think I was on your site this morning, and I will certainly stop by again.
      Glad to “meet” you, and I look forward to talking with you again soon.

  33. Wow this was really powerful. We say love, respect, etc. sometimes without really thinking it through and thinking of what our mate sacrifices for us. It is wonderful to have a godly husband. We truly have been blessed and also to pray for their protection. We are so thankful for both of you.

    • Hey Amelia~

      Thanks for stopping by and leaving such a good word!

      I think you have a godly man who loves you dearly!
      You are indeed blessed!

      Thankful for you and OC~
      Love you,

  34. Oh… I meant to tell you I love the pics, especially the more recent one. The two of you still make a beautiful/handsome couple!!! ~ Jackie T.

    • Hey Jackie!

      Thanks for stopping by and leaving me a note today. I love your visits~

      I pray that you and Pat will get some sweet time together – just the two of you!

      And, thank you for your encouraging words. You have blessed me~

  35. Thanks for the reminders, Melanie & Randy! ~

    Even when you think and feel all of those attributes toward your spouse, life has a way of getting so busy that we TEND to forget to ATTEND to expressing them if we aren’t careful.

    The list is great. I’m saving the post in my journal as a personal reminder. And, I love your Dad’s question. I’m memorizing that one to ask my daughters!

    We’re in our early 50’s & have been very happily married for 28 years. We’ve been taught these things & we know from personal experience the benefits & consequences of meeting/not meeting each other’s needs. And, still… we need reminders because busyness, laziness, and/or selfishness causes us to take one another for granted.

    That’s one of the reasons I appreciate you so much. We may not be sitting in a Class Room together anymore, but we’re still learning from both of you.

    I think I’ll turn our song play list on soon. It includes a special song to us (“How Do I Get You Alone?” by “Heart” from the 80’s). And, with a house full of late teens, young adults, & aging parents, it’s more difficult to find those moments now than it was when we had toddlers!

    Thank you for your continual Ministry of Encouragement!

    Love y’all!
    ~ Jackie T

    • Thanks, Caroline!

      Me too! I need to be reminded of these things as well!

      And, thanks for stopping by and leaving a kind word today! I appreciate you and your visit!

      I hope you have a great weekend~

    • Thanks, Teri!

      They’ve been hitting home with me too~

      Thanks for stopping by today and letting me know. I really appreciate you and your visit, and hope you are doing well~


  36. Great post, Melanie. Knowing the both of you just as well as I do I am confident that you practice what you preach! God’s richest blessings to you and your ministry!

    • Thanks, Bill!

      I appreciate you stopping by and leaving a kind word today!

      Randy and I love you guys and are praying for Becky to feel better~

      Hope you have a blessed weekend~

  37. This is such a great list! I have been feeling very convicted lately that I do not encourage my husband more and was trying to think of ways to do this. Thanks to your list, I have a great place to start!

    • Thanks, Kim!

      And, thanks for stopping by and leaving a kind word today! I appreciate you and your visit!

      And, I think all of us have to really be intentional in encouraging our men. It doesn’t really come naturally.

      Hope you have a blessed weekend~

  38. I just want to say “Thank you” for being a practioner of all 5 of these…and so many more! I agree with others, “You are doing what you were born to do!” Keep bringing hope!! < Randy

  39. What a wonderful post and I so agree. I learned through the help of my husband how to respect a husband. Thats why I make it a point everyday to tell my hubby how much I love and respect what he does for us as a family and our lives.

    • Hey Tammy,

      Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment today. I appreciate you and your visit.

      And, it does help to married to men who will “tell” you stuff, doesn’t it!

      It sounds like you enjoy a great marriage.
      I pray God will bless your relationship~

  40. Melanie, great wisdom, insights, encouragement, and challenge for us wives!! Loved Randy’s contributions! I read all to Bob as we are traveling today. Blessings to both of you, Linda

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