It was so awkward and uncomfortable.
Even though it was many years ago, I remember it like it was yesterday.
We were meeting in our monthly small group session in someone’s home. The food was wonderful and the fellowship was sweet.
After dinner, the group decided to play a game of Trivial Pursuit – the husbands versus the wives.
There was a lot of teasing and competition in the game. It was loud and raucous. Both sides scored points and had a lot of fun.
However, in the heat of the battle, something UGLY emerged.
5 Ways to Show Respect and Honor to Your Man
One of the wives (who I’ll call Angela) in our group began to speak disrespectfully to and about her husband. In front of the entire group, she showed complete disdain for her man.
We were all uncomfortable as the night went on.
And, Angela’s husband (who we’ll call Billy) looked like he was about to die. There was a sadness in his eyes even as he tried to laugh it all off. Indeed, he was hurting over the barbs that his wife was throwing at him.
Angela’s disrespect was killing her husband and her marriage.
Eventually, the couple did get a divorce. Their marriage could not take the constant insults and lack of respect.
So, what’s the big deal with respect?
Why does it matter so much in relationships—especially to the men in our lives?
This is Interesting
If you read the Bible, you’ll find an interesting pattern. Regularly, men are encouraged to love their wives. (Ephesians 5:25, 28; Colossians 3:19)
God knew that this would be something they would need to be intentional about.
However, women are never told to love their men.
That just comes naturally for us.
Instead, we are exhorted many times to respect our men. The Bible instructs us to show honor to our guys. (Ephesians 5:33; 1 Peter 3:1-6)
The Amplified Bible sums Ephesians 5:33 up this way:
“However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self;
and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly].”
Truly, it is sometimes very easy for us, as women to show great honor and respect for the men in our lives.
Conversely, respect is harder on certain days and in certain situations.
There are times when your man will bug you, bother you, hurt you, or make you want to lash out. All of us have these moments.
So, how can you and I offer respect on a regular basis?
It’s a choice really.
To love a man is to be willing to find ways to honor him no matter how you feel or what is going on. You can choose to be honorable no matter the situation.
How is this possible?
I’ve found a SECRET that works for our marriage relationship. Maybe this will help you as well.
When my husband does something I don’t like or makes a decision I’m not crazy about, I tell God about it. In fact, I “tattle” on him to God. Why? Because the Creator of this Universe is the only one who can truly change my man.
Indeed, God is the only one who can transform my husband. I will never be able to do this!
Sure, I make appeals, suggestions, and have discussions with my man. But, my harshest criticisms are only heard in my prayer closet. God can take my situation and do something about it.
So, what if this year, you and I decided to tell our husband the good things and talk over our biggest heartaches and disappointments with Father God?
What if we began to let God do the heavy lifting in our relationships?
What if we intentionally sought to show respect and honor for our men and left the renovating and remodeling work to God?
1 Peter 4:19 reminds us to, “entrust (our) souls to a faithful Creator while continuing to do good.”
How can you and I do this?
Here are 5 practical Ways to Show Respect and Honor to Your Man:
First, ask his opinion and actually listen to what he has to say.
Ask him what he thinks and really listen to him. You may be absolutely blown away by the wisdom he shares!
This is the person who loves you most and likely knows you best.
Even if your man doesn’t walk with Jesus, there is protection and wisdom in hearing him out. God designed things this way!
A helpful relationship tidbit: Listen more closely. You may learn something!
Second, try to respond without arguing.
And, don’t lose your temper.
Instead, try to respond with patience, kindness, and consideration.
Here is one tactic that can help… try to restate what he has just said. Clarify his thoughts with him.
If he says he doesn’t think you should take the job or spend the money, try to discover why he feels this way.
Ask questions, dig a little deeper, and try to really grasp his perspective.
A helpful relationship tidbit: Count to 10 before you say anything. This will calm your heart and possibly prevent an argument.Ask questions, dig a little deeper, and try to really grasp his perspective. Click To Tweet
Third, don’t put your man down in your home or with your family.
Be so careful what you say to and about your man—especially in front of the kids.
If you treat your man with disrespect and disdain, you are teaching your children to do the same.
But, if you show him honor in front of your kids, they will learn to honor him as well.
A helpful relationship tidbit: Speak to and about your man the way you want your man to speak to and about you.
Fourth, try not to belittle him in public.
If I have a pet peeve regarding relationships, this is it. I really, really, really hate it when women talk ugly about their men in public.
It makes everyone feel so uncomfortable when a woman begins to belittle her partner in front of everyone else.
Try to guard against this habit.
Yes, it can be tempting at times. Sometimes our man will do something cringe-worthy.
But, love covers. Love is not provoked. (1 Cor. 13:4-5)
A helpful relationship tidbit: Next time the door opens for you to say something sarcastic or cruel to your man in front of others, close your mouth and bite your tongue.
Next time the door opens for you to say something sarcastic or cruel to your man in front of others, close your mouth and bite your tongue. Click To Tweet
Fifth, speak highly of him to your friends and family.
When we were attending marriage counseling as an engaged couple, our counselor gave us the most wonderful advice.
He suggested that when we were angry with or hurt by each other, we should NOT go dump on our family and friends.
Why? Because long after we would forgive each other, our friends and family would still be upset. They would have taken up an offense that would be difficult to forgive.
Instead, he advised us to pray about our disagreements, talk them out with each other, and (when needed) seek the counsel of a wise older friend or mentor.
Absolutely, we sometimes need to discuss our relationship issues with someone other than our spouse. However, there is a big difference between complaining and sincerely working through an issue.
A helpful relationship tidbit: Be so careful where and what you air outside of your relationship. Choose your words wisely. Also, choose your listeners wisely.
Be so careful where and what you air outside of your relationship. Choose your words wisely. Click To Tweet
I realize that some of you may be in a horrible relationship situation right now.
Or, your relationship may be a complete mess.
In addition to what I shared in this article, I want to encourage you to reach out for help if you are struggling.
- Tell at least one trusted friend about what is going on. Ask them to pray.
- I’ll pray too. You can send me an email at email@example.com.
- Seek the professional help of a Christian counselor or pastor.
- And, if you are in danger, please call for help today. One site I found is the National Domestic Abuse Hotline website.
So, what do you think?
Do you find respect an easy thing to practice?
What tips or suggestions would you like to share?
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